Aegis
by you'vegotthis
Summary: Beckett goes into witness protection without Castle, with disastrous results. NOW COMPLETE!
1. Chapter 1

Cole Maddox was hunting her. Her colleagues had tried to protect her, bringing in the FBI. The FBI took Kate away.

"Let me go with her," Castle begged.

"Mr. Castle, trust us to do our job, we'll get her out of town, she'll be safe."

She knew that wasn't true, she was only safe with him.

She wouldn't look at him, couldn't bear to meet his eyes. Her bag was packed.

"Are you ready Ms. Beckett?" One of the black suits asked.

"Kate?" Castle tried to coax. He didn't understand, if she said 'goodbye' she was going to fall apart, she wouldn't be able to do it. She willed herself to get on the elevator.

"I love you Kate . . . Kate, I love you." Her eyes met his in the moment.

As soon as the doors closed, she broke, "wait, go back, go back," she choked out, "please."

They didn't let her, they had their own agenda. Later, she thought maybe it was a good thing; she never would have let him go.

oxoxoxoxoxoxo

He couldn't sleep, they hadn't even spent a whole week together before they took her and that week had ruined him. He couldn't sleep without her.

The first month was hard, his mother and Alexis fluttered a lot. He felt like he'd lost everything all at once. His work, his joy, his love.

The second month was easier, he was busy living vicariously through Rook. He was living in his head, writing more Nikki Heat than he needed to, but escapism only kept you preoccupied for so long.

When Alexis went off to school he floundered, his mother, of all people, removed the liquor from the loft. Alexis came home every weekend, just to try to keep him balanced.

"Can't you hold out some hope? You spent all those years pining for the woman and you can't handle a few months apart? You've been away from her before, haven't you?" Alexis fumed one night.

She was right, he needed to try, stop wallowing in it. Stop remembering how many times he'd told her he loved her and how absent those words were from her lips.

oxoxoxoxo

He was sitting at his desk running his fingers over her elephant trophy, the one he used to run his fingers over when it sat on her desk. It seemed like ages ago. His doorbell rang.

"Mr. Castle, we need you to come with us," they flashed their badges. _Kate._

oxoxoxoxoxox

He didn't know what to expect, but this wasn't it.

"Mr. Castle, we've had a break in the case, but she won't testify."

What the hell? What was going on?

"Thursday, Mr. Castle, be ready on Thursday."

"For what?"

"Tell no one."

oxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

"Just do it dad, go. You aren't any good to anyone until this thing with Kate is resolved. I'm fine, I have college, my friends, a life. You need to go find your life dad."

"Oh Richard," his mother cried as she hugged him.

oxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

His bag was packed on Wednesday night. What did one pack to disappear in? It didn't matter, Kate was what mattered.

They came early in the morning, before the sun was up. It didn't interrupt his sleep.

oxoxoxoxoxo

Private jet to where? The basement of an imposing building. A hospital ward. A waiting room. He'd been with the same two suits for two days, he wished they'd just get on with it already. No one would tell him anything.

"Mr. Castle," one of the suits beckoned him with a finger.

She was lying in a hospital bed, her skin a pale green under the tungsten lighting, her hair, limp. She didn't turn her head when he entered.

"Kate?"

Her eyes were slow to meet his and even then, they held disbelief, like she couldn't trust he own eyes.

He didn't hesitate, falling over her, burying his head in her neck, cupping her face with his hands.

"Are you really here?" she whispered.

"Yeah, I'm here. I'm here." She lifted enough for him to put his arms around her as she wrapped hers around him.

"I missed you so much. So much." He sobbed into her.

"Are you really here?" she asked again.

He pulled back to look in her face, noticing how tight her skin was, how protruded her cheek bones. She was ghostly thin. "What happened?"

"Are you really here?" she repeated again. Okay, now she was scaring him. What had happened to her?

"Kate, who am I?"

She smiled, "Rick Castle."

"Are you okay?"

"Just need you." She clutched him harder. "I love you, I love you Rick. So much."

"Mr. Castle?" A trim brunette in her fifties stuck out her hand, "I'm Maya, the nurse practitioner, I've been taking care of Kate."

Kate hadn't let go as he turned to shake Maya's hand.

"You okay, Kate?" Maya asked, looking beyond Castle.

"He's here."

"He certainly is, does this mean you are going to make some changes Katie?"

He watched Kate close her eyes and hold tighter to his arm.

"Why is she here?"

"Exhaustion, she hasn't been eating well since she's been in custody, we had to put in a feeding tube last week."

"Kate."

"It makes me sick Castle, to think of him. It makes me sick to think of him going to trial, getting off. He's going to get away with it and then he's going to kill me."

He picked up her arm and examined it a moment. It was bird-like, too thin. "Not okay Kate. Where is your faith? Where is all that Kate Beckett strength I fell in love with?"

Tears pricked her eyes as she buried her face in his shoulder, "You, I can't do it without you."

oxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

They explained it to him, she could go with him, they could hide away until the trial. Try to get her ready to testify.

She smiled when she heard it. The plan. He panicked.

How could he be responsible for keeping her safe? She wasn't even healthy enough to keep herself upright and he was supposed to prop her up for trial?

He needed a little propping up himself.

Xoxoxoxoxo

They'd brought in an extra hospital bed for him. Wheeled it up by Kate's which turned out to be pointless, she wouldn't let him go and all her tubes and wiring meant he was squeezing in with her, spooning with his obsession.

She was weaker than he thought, by day three he still hadn't seen her get out of bed. Maya fluttered around, checked her machines, encouraged her to gain some weight, move around. She slept a lot. This wasn't the Kate Beckett he had known.

He needed a plan.

He scooted his bed across the room, away from her.

"Where you going?" She asked sleepily.

"Luring you," he hopped up on the bed, casually opened the book he was reading.

"What do you mean?"

"Come over here and find out."

"I can't," she pointed at the IV bags hanging above her.

"They're on a stand, they can move with you."

"What are you doing?" She was a little angry.

"I can't leave until you can leave, you won't work on getting better so we can get out of here, what do you want me to do Kate? My job has always been to challenge you, so let's see you push yourself. Come over here."

She sighed and rolled her eyes to the ceiling. He could tell she was going to try.

"Hey Kate?"

"Hmm?"

"Could you flash me a little while crawling out of bed?"

In the end, Maya had to come in and help her untangle the tubes and stand up. He didn't get a flash of anything but her smile when she finally reached for him in bed.

"Thank you," he kissed her forehead, "now, next things next, I can't make out with a girl when she has one of these sticking out of her stomach," he poked at the tube full of tan liquid.

"Maya, do you think Kate could get a strawberry milkshake?" He moved over to make room for her on the bed, pulled her into his embrace.

"Coming right up."

A/N: This story is completely written and sitting on my computer. You want updates? I want reviews. I'm guessing you'll know what to do.


	2. Chapter 2

A week later Maya was part of the team that took out Kate's feeding tube. She was still coming out of sedation when they wheeled her back into their shared room.

"Everything is fine Rick," Maya patted his hand, "no worries, she's on the mend."

"Thank you, Maya."

"You know Rick she's been stronger since you came, she'll recover."

"Never doubted it, although how she got this bad is a good question." Castle's eyes were on Kate, her slow steady breathing comforted him.

"Her whole world changed, Rick, she was scared and alone."

"Yeah, and what if it happens again? She'll be away from home, reliving all the nightmares she's suffered."

"She's got you."

"She needs more, I don't know that I can do it all. I need her and she needs me, but I don't want this thing to ruin us." He met the older woman's eyes.

"Maybe I can help? Watch her health? At least for a little while, until you're settled."

"Maya, you've already been such a god-send to us, it would relieve me so much to have you with us."

oxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

Castle has been making her walk the halls. Not far, they can't go far in their little prison, can't go outside yet, but soon.

He has his arm around her waist as they make a turn at the end of the hall. He is so sick of florescent lighting. God, if she spent these past months in a place like this no wonder her thoughts caught up to her, no wonder she was slowly killing herself.

Maya has a purposeful little march that she does, a no-nonsense professional walk that screams either listen up or get out of the way. She's coming toward them with that little march.

"Rick, Kate, they've finished making preparations, you need to get yourselves ready to go."

An old dark blue suburban with a light white pinstripe and tinted windows is waiting for them in the parking garage. Someone has taken the time to tuck away the back passenger seats so that a thin mattress takes up one side, suitcases and supply boxes are tucked into cargo nets to keep them from sliding. A cooler is full of some high calorie shake Maya keeps pushing Kate to drink. They are about to be free.

Kate insists that she is riding in the back seat, she's dying to see the outside world after all these months. A glance in the rearview mirror has him smiling, she strapped in the seatbelt with her mirror sunglasses on, eager.

"You doing okay?" their eyes meeting.

"Eh, just looking forward to having a driver. Nice to be able to tell you how to drive for a change."

"Ha."

"Hey can we stop for coffee?"

"Good golly, we've only been on the road for five minutes."

"I agree with Kate, we've got lots of driving ahead, might as well enjoy it," Maya pipes up from the passenger seat.

They've got a preprogramed GPS, FBI instructions are to follow its directions, it's a meandering trip that should take three or four days. Castle is guessing four at the rate they are starting out.

So far they've stopped for coffee, a roadside peach stand, and for a picnic lunch. Kate is loving every minute. She's been encouraging every road game she can think of, and her enthusiasm is infectious.

"Punch buggy blue!" she reaches to smack Castle in the arm.

"Hey, that hurt," he cries. She immediately rubs his arm affectionately, "I'm sorry."

"I'm so going to bruise."

She's obviously unbuckled her seatbelt because he feels her arms around his shoulders and her face pops up between the seats as she kisses his cheek and leans her head against his. He takes one hand off the wheel and slides his hand along Kate's arm.

"Road safety Kate."

She presses her nose against his ear a moment before letting him go.

"Maya, how is it that you can come with us? What about your family?" Kate asks.

"My son is in college, third year out at Stanford. My ex-husband is about to get remarried in Chicago, so I'm single again."

"Kate went to Stanford," Castle adds.

For the next hour they learn about Kate's experiences in California. Turns out, Maya's son Brian is pre-law and Kate is in her element telling her stories. He's so happy to see her looking so free. He wants to pull over and just absorb himself in her, she's so beautiful like this.

By three o'clock she's blinking a lot, resting her head on the window, fighting sleep.

"Kate, honey, why don't you lay down in the back? Take a little rest," Maya coaxes.

"I just need a coffee."

"How about a protein shake?"

"Jeez Maya, quit pushing, would ya? I don't want another protein shake. I don't want to take a nap."

"Here," Castle hands back a bottle of iced coffee he's kept up front with him, while its technically coffee, it has enough sugar to ward off low-blood-sugar Beckett for another hour. He knows, he's used this trick before. He winks at Maya when Kate reaches to take it.

He holds the bottle a second longer than he needs to, catching her eye in the rearview, "go drink it in the back."

She glares and starts to say something, but he silences her with a single phrase, "please . . . for me."

She rolls her eyes but climbs over the seat to lie on the mattress in the back.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

"She's asleep," Maya said, climbing back into the passenger seat.

"Good," Castle glanced over to her, "and how about you? You've got to be tired after the last few days.

"I'm not as young as I used to be, but I still get around Rick. You've been just as on-the-go as I have been. She's getting better, she'll be better still once you've got her settled wherever we are headed."

Relieved, her words relieved him of a tension he wasn't entirely aware he had.

"Thank you, Maya. Thank you for taking care of her, I don't know what we would have done without you."

"My pleasure Rick, she's a sweet girl, tell me how you met?"

It felt good to laugh with Maya, spin his stories of them in a way that no one else could influence. He only told the fun ones, the ones where she or he came out the hero. She laughed at every one of his antics, pride behind her eyes. Her maternal smile was comforting.

"Castle!" Her voice of reprimand came from behind them.

Rick smiled and glanced in the rearview mirror, "sounds like someone's awake."

"Don't do that again," was the only part of the next string of words that either Maya or Castle understood.

"Or maybe not?" Rick questioned as Maya moved back to check.

"I forgive you. I forgive you," Kate was stern in her tone. Maya reached her and gently shook her arm.

"Kate, Kate honey, wake up."

Kate's head lulled unnaturally to the side as Maya placed a hand on her forehead, just as Rick asked, "what's going on?"

"She's altered." Maya's checking her eyes with a flash pen,"she's burning up. Must be an infection."

"Kate, stop," Maya was holding both her wrists as Kate tossed in the throws of a feverish hallucination. She crossed them on Kate's chest and held them with one hand as she lifted Kate's shirt to check the wound from the feeding tube.

"I don't see an obvious source, her wound looks clean, may be something internal."

She had to work one-handed to try and find her ear thermometer amongst her supplies.

"102.8!" Rick heard the worry in Maya's voice. "I'm going to push an antibiotic but we are going to need to stop, Rick."

Rick was on to the task, searching for an inconspicuous place to spend the night.

"Kate, relax, it's Maya," the older woman crooned her mantra repeatedly stroking Kate's hair.

It was quickly becoming apparent to her that she would need another set of hands to administer the antibiotic. She couldn't let go of Kate long enough to even grab the supplies she needed.

"Get off me," Kate spat.

"Kate, it's Maya, relax."

"Kate," Castle called from the driver's seat, checking in the rearview mirror, "it's okay, you're okay."

In her delusion, Kate started to kick, trying to twist herself from Maya's, now two-handed, grasp.

"Castle!" she cried again.


	3. Chapter 3

He was trying to remain inconspicuous, obeying the speed limit, but Maya was obviously overwhelmed. Kate had managed to free a hand and had hit her in the face. Not full Beckett power, but enough for Maya to lose control. Frantically he looked for a place to pull over and not draw suspicion. McDonald's parking lot it was. No sooner was the car engine off than Rick was over the seat, face-to-face with Kate.

"Kate," he used his calmest voice, despite the turmoil he felt, "stop."

She instantly stopped, looked him in the eyes. But he could see the clouds in her eyes, she was not herself.

"Make love to me," she whispered, not at all conscious of their situation.

"Yeah, I will, soon," he held both her hands in one of his, used his free hand to stroke her cheek, "but first you have to get better, ok?"

"Let me guess, you've got a guy for that?" She was lost in a haze of confusion.

"Rick, I'm going to restrain her, just keep her calm for a moment, I need to get her ankles."

Maya moved swiftly to use hospital restrains on Kate's ankles, innovating an anchor to one of the seat rings in the floorboard.

"Can't you give her something?"

"Not yet, IV antibiotics first, okay? Help me help her Rick."

He hated the idea of Kate strapped down, but helped Maya work the long fetters of the restraints underneath the mattress Kate lay on, essentially using her own body weight to keep her arms from flailing. Maya had a hard case elbow-sleeve to keep Kate's IV arm supine and outstretched.

They were both sweating profusely with effort and the lack of air conditioning. He watched as Maya finally taped the IV in place.

He sighed, "this is going to set her back isn't it?"

Maya put her hand on his cheek, "I'm not going to sugar-coat it, yes, but Rick, she will recover, she will get well, you just need to be her strength for a while, can you do that?"

Rick shook his head and glanced over to Kate, she wore a troubled look on her face, eyes closed, but no longer actively fighting. He wanted to take her pain from her so desperately, he wanted her to come back to him. To be whole again. To be safe.

"Now," Maya took command in his moment of emotion, "I am going to go turn on the car so you two can get some air, and then I am going inside this gourmet establishment to use the restroom. Do you want anything?"

"Here's where I ask if she can have a strawberry shake?"

"I think we'd better stick to the protein shakes I'm giving her, I don't want her to have any dairy at the moment." She produced a washcloth soaked in the ice water of their cooler, laid it over Kate's forehead.

"Okay, then just bring me a coffee, we need to find a place for the night."

"You got it honey."

Maya moved to climb into the driver's seat, started the engine, and left Rick hovering over Kate.

He stroked his fingers over her cheeks, reached to tuck his fingers into her restrained hand.

"I love you Kate. You love me. Hurry up and get well, I miss you."

She stirred a little, a small smile settling over her features.

"Heard me on that didn't ya? I can tell, so I'll say it again. I love you Kate. You love me. Get well and come back to me."

oxoxoxoxoxo

Maya handed him the coffee across the driver's console. "How is she?"

"She didn't open her eyes, I think she's out."

"I need to get her temperature again before we go, give me a minute?"

"Of course."

"103.2"

"How can it be that high already?" Fear was gripping him.

"Give the antibiotics time to work Rick, we can do an ice bath if it climbs any higher."

"We need to find a hotel. Will you look on the GPS and see what's around?" Rick handed over the unit even as he backed out of the parking space.

oxoxoxoxo

Castle convinces the kid at the desk that his wife and two noisy kids are in the car and they need connecting rooms away from the other guests.

If there were any other guests.

The place looks deserted.

He backs up the Suburban to the door and tells Maya to be patient while he carries in some supplies. Maya has Kate's restraints off by the time he comes back.

"It's not the nicest of accommodations," he says opening the back door and reaching to lift Kate. He's dragged her off the mattress and halfway out the door before he hooks his arm under her legs and around her back, cradling her to him while Maya manages the IV bag.

They both eye the area before he hustles her the last few feet and onto the closest bed. She stirs a little at the movement.

"Hi," he says looking down at her.

"Make love to me," she whispers.

He laughs at her. "Even incapacitated you can't resist my charms."

Maya hears it all and it tells her Kate is still not in her right mind, she wastes no time with the thermometer while Castle pulls containers and suitcases from the vehicle.

"103.5, I think we need to get you into a cooling bath."

"Rick, can you get as much ice as possible?"

They work with efficiency to get Kate's clothes off and Castle hauls her off the bed with as much grace as he can muster. He's tired. A long day of driving, worry, and moving both her and all their things has exhausted him.

Maya has unhooked the IV, the bag empty, and shoves herself into the space between the tiny bathtub and the toilet. This wasn't the cleanest place and his respect for the woman is growing leaps and bounds for this latest act of sacrifice.

As soon as Kate's body hits the water she takes a huge breath, opens her eyes and pushes to sit up.

"Kate!" They are both yelling her name.

"Let go. LET GO OF ME," her voice is high pitched. Desperate.

Maya has her head, pulling her down while Rick hooks an arm under her knees forcing her to lay back in the tub.

"It's okay baby girl," Maya is cooing while pouring water from her cupped hand over Kate's head.

Castle has his hands on her hips, pressing them down and Kate's hands are scratching at them with her ragged nails.

"Hey," he says trying to sooth her, "remember that time we saved the world? Remember Kate, we were locked in a freezer?" He wants her to think cold thoughts, bring down her fever through story.

Her hands still.

"We got out? We found the bomb, remember?"

She relaxes a little at his voice, Maya shakes her head in encouragement for him to continue, Kate's finally resting her head in Maya's hands.

"God Kate, I thought we were goners. You were looking at me like that was the end of the world. And then I just pulled on all those wires? Remember?"

Her eyes are open and she's looking at him, but not with recognition. Maya takes the opportunity to use one hand to pull Kate's knees to either side of the tub, allowing the cold water to hit her center. Scoops some water over her forehead and neck.

"You said later you didn't know what the hell I was doing. You were right, but it worked, didn't it? Disarmed the bomb, got you in my arms for that hug. You were using that cherry-scented conditioner then, I think you were doing that for me. Were you doing that for me?"

She cocks her head a little and it looks for all the world like she's asking him, 'you talking to me?'

"I bet you were. In fact, I bet there were lots of things you were doing for me, even back then. You won't fess up to them though, 'cause you're stubborn that way."

She's calm enough that Maya takes a chance at reaching for the thermometer, rolls Kate's head to the side and presses the button.

"102, let's try to keep her in for another few minutes, okay?"

"Kate, why don't you tell Maya here about Nikki Heat? I want to hear you tell her from your point of view."

"Nikki Heat," Kate repeats, faint recognition visible in her eyes.

"Yeah," Rick encourages, claims Maya's spot close to Kate's head, gets her to float with her head all the way back, hair spreading out in the water. He feels her body convulse with a shiver.

"Good sign," Maya whispers.

"Tell Maya about the Nikki Heat movie? We went to LA?"

Suddenly she is pushing to sit up, like she has saved all her energy for this one move.

"Okay, it's enough, let's get her out," Maya says without ceremony, towel already at the hand as he pulls her up to standing, she leans her full weight on him, soaking him as Maya dries her hair and down her back.

"Come on, over the edge Kate," Maya coaxes her out of the tub and has a second towel wrapped around her and secured in a moment.

She helps Kate shuffle to the bed and sit, searching for pajamas as Castle sits beside her, holding her up.

"Okay Katie, let's get you into these and back on an IV, you are going to feel so much better tomorrow, okay?" Maya hopes that's true.

As soon as Kate is in a t-shirt and leggings she is crying, big crocodile tears but no noise follows.

"Aw, what's the matter sweetheart? You aren't feeling well?" Maya is so tender with Kate.

"Mom?"

A/N: Hey there, were you entertained? Did you just get free entertainment? How nice for you! Meanwhile I spent hours working on this, would you mind to make the donation of a review? Just write 'like' in the box that pops up. Makes my day.


	4. Chapter 4

Maya glances at Rick.

"No baby, it's Maya, I'm your nurse, come lay down, okay?"

Kate watches as Maya sets up her IV and restrains her newly needled arm. She doesn't bother to tie the fetter on her free arm, although she does secure it around her wrist, at least for now, Kate's passive. She pulls the bedspread up to Kate's chest and pulls a comb out to fix Kate's hair.

"Mom, I'm not a child, I can take care of myself," Kate whines. But she isn't fighting Maya, she's complaining but enjoying it at the same time.

"Rick why don't you take a shower, I can handle her for a while," Maya looks at him. Rick doesn't love anything having to do with her mother, after all that's what got them into this mess in the first place, but this is an interesting turn.

He obediently leaves them.

"I love him so much," Kate says it with such determination, Maya is sure that it's true despite her fever.

"How did you meet him?" She's still running a comb through Kate's hair, spreading it out on the pillow.

"He was following me around at work, so annoying."

"Why was that annoying?" Maya was happy to see that she actually seemed to be responding to her question.

"He touches things, wants to know everything. I wanted to shoot him."

Maya can't help but laugh, it seems to startle Kate.

"I'm going to marry him mom, I'm going to marry him."

"Oh Katie, that sounds nice." Maya ignores her misnomer and strokes her scalp.

In a minute, she's out. Maya takes her temperature once again and cleans up, tethering Kate's free hand to the bed frame.

"101.5 and holding for the moment," she tells him when he returns.

"Why don't you take the other room, leave me to stay with Kate?" He offers, knowing she must be tired.

"Rick you are exhausted, and I'm not convinced that Kate is on the road to recovery. You take the other room and get some real sleep. You are the one who has to drive tomorrow."

Eventually, he reluctantly agrees, but leaves the adjoining door open, dropping into a deep sleep the moment his head hits the pillow.

oxoxoxoxoxxoxox

"Rick! Rick! Oh God, Rick," she is yelling his name, her screams punctuating the still night.

He's out of bed and next to hers at the same moment Maya turns on the bedside lamp.

She is sitting up, hair covering her face, unable to lift her restrained arms, fighting invisible demons.

"Kate, I'm right here, I'm right here."

He's undoing one restrained wrist, smoothing her hair back and laying her down at the same time. Maya appears and sticks the thermometer in her ear.

"103."

"Damn, I thought this was working," he looks at the now empty IV bag. It's 3AM.

"I'm going to change it," Maya moves swiftly.

He's got Kate's free hand in his, kisses her finger tips and pushes her hair off her face. Her eyes are wide with fear, like she's not sure who he is.

"Kate, it's me."

"Castle?"

"Yeah, it's me. How do you feel?"

"Where?"

"We are in a hotel. It's you and me and Maya, your nurse. Remember?"

"Where is he? He shot me." She struggles to sit up but he gently braces her with an elbow across her chest, strokes the palm of her free hand with his thumb.

"No, you're okay Kate. No one was shot."

_Oh God Kate. _

"Maya, you've got to do something," he begs, "can't you give her something?"

"I was shot!" She screams and arches under him. He covers her mouth with his hand to quiet her, leaving her free hand to bat at his arm, trying to leverage an attack.

"Ice bath Rick, let's do another ice bath."

This time it takes both of them struggling just to get her out of bed. Restraints removed means she has hands and feet to fight.

After she catches the side of his face with a wild punch, he gets both arms around her, holding her back to his chest.

"Turn on the shower Maya."

Full clothed he suffers through the freezing spray with her, at least until there is enough water in the bottom of the tub to pull her down and let her soak. He's exhausted by the whole process but realizes she still needs ice, sludges out of the tub and through the rooms to bring back the bag he collected from the machine earlier. It's a little unceremonious to dump that much ice in the water at once, but does the job, biting at his hands as he works with Maya to pull Kate's now wet clothes off her too warm body.

ooxoxoxoxoxo

At eight he wakes up and sits up from his place on the floor immediately, Kate is peacefully sleeping on the bed above him. Thank God. One hell of a night and Maya is still out too. A hand on her head says she still has a fever, but not as high as last night. He pulls the knot in her restraint so he can move her arm over, climbs up next to her and falls asleep pressed into her side.

She wakes him a few hours later.

"Hi," she says stroking his chin, squeezing his cheek.

Lucid.

She is lucid, coherent, back to his Kate. Thank God.

He calls the front desk to extend their stay one more night. He just can't do it. He can't keep driving, he can't force Maya to keep going, and Kate, well it really doesn't matter one way or the other for Kate, except that it does. He wants to spend a day next to her. With the light back in her eyes, with the worry gone, he is left breathless by this woman. Beautiful.

Maya wakes hearing his phone call, unhooks Kate's IV after taking her temperature.

"100, much better, I'll push another round after I find us some coffee, okay?" She's dressed and out the door before he's done helping Kate brush her teeth and wash her face.

He helps her to the other room, the one with the king-size bed, and when she's settled in, he hands her a bottle of water, tucks her into his side, kisses the top of her head and turns on the television.

"Crappy motel made better by 1000 channels."

Maya brings them coffee and a box of pastries from whatever magic source she's found out in the middle of nowhere.

"She reminds me of my mom," she whispers when the woman returns to her room.

He squeezes her tight, "killing me here," she says.

She rests her head on his shoulder. Later she falls asleep on his stomach as he runs his hand through her hair.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

It's an uneventful ride into rural South Carolina. Kate's fever had broken early that morning, drenching her in sweat. Castle relayed her ice bath stories in a very steamy shower in which he restrained himself from overexerting her.

"Wait until you have your stamina back, I want to ravage you," he says against her naked form, "but you can barely stand just from seeing me naked."

"Ha," she says, but she lets him towel her off anyway.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

The large house comes complete with a pool and Maya is thrilled.

"Let's eat lunch, Kate can take a nap, and we can do some pool therapy."

"A nap? What am I, a child?"

"Oh good, she's challenging me," Maya winks at Castle," lunch first, then I'll arm-wrestle you for it Kate."

"Maya, are you coming on to my partner?" Kate raised her eyebrows and grabbed Castle possessively around the arm. It made him inexplicably happy.

"I'll tell you what, I'll share him with you, let him nap with you, how's that sound?"

"Hey, I'm not some piece of meat you can negotiate over," he feigns offense.

"Shut up, meat," she squeezes his arm and scrunches up her face and looks at Maya, "I'll fight you for him."

"Right after you nap Kate," Maya steps forward to feel her forehead.

Castle winds his hand around her to put a handover her mouth, mimicking Maya's movements.

"Shhhh Kate, women are fighting for me, you won, revel in it."

She laughs and he twists her to peck her lips.

She does nap with him wrapped around her, leg possessively draped over her from where he has her settled into his chest.

He finds her bathing suit, the one she wore in LA, leaves it out for her when she wakes.

Maya has already settled herself in with coffee and a book out by the pool.

"Kate's not awake," he's grateful she felt comfortable enough to brew a pot of coffee, he needs it.

"Told you she needed a nap."

"Listen, I want to tell you something," he leans in a little toward her chair, "Kate says you remind her of her mother."

"Is that a good thing or a bad thing?" Maya laughs a little.

"Kate's mom . . . Kate's mom was murdered when she was 19." Maya looks horrified.

"Don't tell her I told you that," god, how does _she_ tell people, he's never had to explain this to someone else, "anyway, it's a source of pain for her, really for us, but I want you to know that isn't a statement she makes lightly. It means a lot to me that you've given her enough that she would say something like that. Thank you for taking care of her."

"That's my job Rick, I like doing it."

They both heard her before they saw her, her groggy footsteps clumped down the hall and toward the screen door.

"Hi," she says smiling a dopey relaxed grin.

"Hey, come here pretty girl, you have a good nap?" He pulls her to sit in the v of his legs, wraps his arms around her before feeling her forehead.

"No fever."

"I could use some coffee," she says, snatching up his mug.

"Hey, you're going to give me your girl cooties."

"You gave me them in the first place," she retorts.

"You two are precious, but I'm ready for a dip in this nice pool I've been looking at for hours. You want to get in?"  
"Yes!" she says, reenergized, "Let me just go put on my swimsuit."


	5. Chapter 5

"Ten minutes Kate, that's all," Maya wanted her to just tread water for a short time, build her stamina, "until then, Rick's all mine."

She taps him on the shoulder as he sits on the edge of the pool, watching her. "Ten minutes Rick, and not a minute sooner."

"Yes, ma'am," he mock salutes her as she goes inside to clean up and start dinner for them, "also," he calls after her, "I already started the grill."

Kate was starting to struggle after five minutes. He really wanted to rescue her.

"Five more minutes Kate, come on you can do five more, you're a bad-ass-Harley rider."

That seemed to boost her up a little.

"Come on Kate, five more minutes and then I'm going to come get you."

She slipped down a little in the water, laughing at him, she was a little breathless.

"Four minutes now, just think I'm going to dive in here and I'm going to play the big hero, give you a little mouth-to-mouth."

"Don't . . . need. . . rescue, " she huffed, struggling.

"Oh, ok, I'm a liberated man, I don't need to rescue you, you can rescue me."

This time she went under for a moment, pushed herself back up. "Three minutes Kate, you can do it."

She was taking big breaths, willing herself to finish her time.

"Are you going to drown Beckett?"

"Nnno," she sounded cold, worn out.

"Two minutes, then I'm going to jump in there, you'll have to come get me. Hey, don't you cheat now."

She was moving closer to the wall, took a deep breath and stopped struggling long enough to let herself sink to the bottom, then push off the side wall. He watches her pop to the surface to take a deep breath.

"One more minute Kate, come on, just another minute."

He really wants to pull her out, she isn't treading water so much as gracelessly flailing in it. It doesn't suit her.

"Thirty seconds."

"Rick, I'm . . .tired," she chatters.

"Ten seconds and I'm coming Kate, hold on."

And she did, waited for him to dive under her, lift her by the waist, her hands coming around his neck, not even trying to kick her legs anymore.

"You okay?"

"Uh-huh," she says against his shoulder.

He walks with her around him to the shallow end of the pool and lets her recover.

"Jeez, ten minutes," she said when she could, "I can't do ten minutes in the water."

"Oh, quit your complaining," he says lifting her as he walks up the pool steps, "you really expecting to run a marathon after this week?" He sets her down and wraps a towel around her. "Besides, you have no muscle, you need to eat."

oxoxoxxoxo

They are eating dinner when Maya breaks the news.

"Before I forget, as your medical professional, I'm going to say this one time." She's got their attention.

"You need to wait a while to act on those raging hormones. Kate needs to build her stamina, and a pregnancy right now would be life threatening."

"Whoa, no one said anything about being pregnant," Kate is mortified.

"I didn't say you were planning anything, accidents happen, and given your recent unstable health, I'm just warning you. Get yourself out in the pool, eating and exercising, and this won't be a problem in a few weeks."

"A few weeks?" Castle's a more than a little disappointed.

"Listen, stud, you love her, you can wait until she's healthy," Maya turns to Kate, "And you know you need to regain your strength. Like I said, I'm only going to say this once."

Castle eyes Beckett, "I waited four years for her, what's a few weeks?"

"Oh, this sounds like a story I need to hear," Maya relaxes, she's pretty sure Kate doesn't remember their previous conversation, "I'd love to hear it from you, Kate."

"Oh jeez, seriously?" She's rolling her eyes, but scoots closer to Castle on the bench at the picnic table by the pool, she wraps her hands around his waist and puts her cheek on his back, watching Maya. "He writes about me. He writes an alternate-universe story of our lives."

"Wow, like a book?"

Kate squeezes Castle a little, his hands cover hers on his chest. "Yes, a novel, Rick writes bestsellers, you know?"

"No, actually," Maya is embarrassed, "I'm afraid I don't know."

"Richard Castle? Master of the Macabre? Bestselling mystery author?" Rick had that comically offended tone.

"I'm afraid I don't read that many mysteries."

"Your star is fading Maya," he says flatly.

"_Anyway_," Kate continued, giving him another squeeze and lightly biting his shoulder, "he wrote a series about a New York detective named Nikki Heat."

"She's smart," Castle continues, "and sexy," he's kissing Kate's fingers.

"So this summer is the fourth book, did you finish it?" Kate suddenly remembers.

"Sure did, although Gina's probably frustrated that I'm not around for the final edits."

"Rick follows me around in my job, he has for four years now."

"Four years is a long time, how come you waited?"

"I didn't want to wait, but Kate's stubborn."

"He kind of grew on me. . . like a mold."

"Ha, ha, Kate." He rocks her over his back a little.

"He snuck in there somewhere, stole my heart, helped me want more from my life." He can't believe she just admitted all of that, she really does love him.

"And he gets me coffee," she finishes.

"It was really the coffee that sealed the deal," he says sarcastically.

She covers his ears, "I'd love him without the coffee," she stage whispers to Maya, who laughs.

He moves his hand to her thigh and twists to kiss her sweetly.

"I'm going inside to clean up," Maya says, needing to give them a moment.

"I'll help you," Kate calls after her, but as she stands, Castle pulls her into his full embrace, strokes the hair out of her face and meets her lips, lets his tongue explore her mouth in a way that he has wanted to for months. He pours his love into her.

When they broke apart, she was breathing hard. "I love you Kate, so much it hurts some times."

"I love you too Castle," she strokes his hair and down his neck for a moment before pushing to stand and help Maya with the dishes.

xoxoxoxoxoxox

"Okay Maya, what do I have to do?" Kate was drying the last of the dishes, Rick was out of earshot, cleaning the grill on the patio.

"To do what honey?"

Kate rolls her eyes, "To enjoy being with Rick?"

"Ah, I wondered when that was going to come up. I'll tell you what, when you have a little more color in that pretty skin and can tread water for 30 minutes, without stopping, I'll give you my blessing."

She gave her a knowing look, Kate Beckett was never one to back down from a challenge.

"And Kate?"

"Yeah?"

"Don't you tempt him into it before you're healthy."


	6. Chapter 6

Maya is sharing the heart ache of her marriage with Kate, little by little as they work through muscle toning leg lifts in the pool.

"When we were young we were always together, we had a little group of friends. It just seemed natural that we should date, you know?"

"And then it was natural that we should get married and have a baby," she laments, "maybe it wasn't so much natural as expected, the path of least resistance. I'm not sure I was ever head-over-heels in love with him, not like you and Rick."

"Rick and I definitely did not take the path of least resistance; we made each other crazy before we made each other happy."

"Yeah, well it shows honey, not like me and John, we were just moving through life, but not really together. I think he's finally found someone else, I'm happy for him," Maya's sincere, but adds, "but that doesn't make it any easier, I've been lonely for a long time, the house is so empty with my son gone."

"Oh Maya," Kate hugs the older woman, "I hope you haven't felt lonely with us, your friendship has been such a gift."

"Of course not, I'm enjoying you both."

The doorbell interrupts their sentiment.

"Get out of the pool and hide in the attic," Castle growls at them, leaving his computer to check the door. The upstairs bedroom has a closet, in the back is a set of stairs leading to the attic.

As it turns out, they didn't need it.

At the door are two FBI agents accompanying Greg Langley, Federal Prosecutor.

Xoxoxoxoxoxo

Castle told her to put on some clothes before she came down.

He could tell she was nervous meeting with Langley, she was tucking her hair behind her ear a lot, pulling on the cuffs of her shorts. At least she wasn't twirling her hair, even he had to admit Langley was a dead ringer for a younger Richard Geer.

"Before I go over all this, I need you to tell me your side of things. Just start with the investigation details you've left out of the original file on your mother."

Kate relayed as much detail as she could, finally revealing the secrets surrounding that night in the hangar, Roy's admission. She manages to hold her emotions in check, rising as she asks, "Mr. Langley, would you like a cup of coffee?"

He had an agenda and didn't particularly care to stop at that moment, but she was already up and leaving the room. Castle met her in the kitchen. She holds a hand out to him, palm held up, stopping him from touching her.

"Don't Castle, just don't."

He knows it means that she is on the verge. She hates it when he tips her emotional scale. Instead, he pulls a bottle of vanilla creamer out of the refrigerator, sets it on the counter next to her and leaves the room.

Langley and his entourage left hours later. Kate remained at the table, head resting on her hands, after they'd let themselves out, promising to return in a few days.

Castle leans on the doorframe watching her.

"What do you need?" he finally asks.

"Space."

He leaves her, working to prep lunch with Maya. The two of them sit at the table by the pool, leaving Kate alone with her thoughts.

"Can I do anything for her?" Maya asks, concerned.

"Kate is independent, she'll come around, this is just . . .this is complicated, she's been through a lot."

"We should try to take her mind off of it then."

"Got any ideas?" He asks with a grin.

Xoxoxoxooxo

Maya isn't going to let her slip into some bad place no matter how much space she needs. Castle can't believe how much Kate lets Maya push her. It took him years to earn that right with her. The older woman seems to have been handed Kate's trust.

"Hey you," she shakes Kate from where she sits sleeping, head over crossed arms, still at the table, "drink this."

A bottle of water appears in front of Kate.

Kate sighs and Maya takes it as a sign to sit down beside her.

"Hey honey," she sets a hand on Kate's shoulder, "we're going to take a little drive in a few minutes, why don't you go use the restroom and freshen up."

"Maya, I don't want to go anywhere today, okay?"

"Nope, Rick and I are going and we aren't leaving you here alone, you can stay in the car if you want, but you need to come with us."

"Where are you going?"

"It's a surprise," Maya smiles.

"Did Rick tell you I hate surprises?"

Xoxoxoxoxo

She was definitely sulking in her spot in the back seat, Rick could see it when he looked in the rearview mirror. It was kind of nice to have Maya to break the tension, he sensed she felt the same way.

"So you have a house in the Hamptons too? Jeez Rick, I guess your books are doing well."

"Seriously Maya, we are going to have to get you a copy of _Heat Wave_."

"You only write the Nikki Heat books now, or do you write other things too?"

"I've got a few small things on the side that I've written while I've been writing Nikki."

"Like what?" Kate piped up from the backseat. He smirked to think this might thaw her out.

"Oh just some shorter pieces, a few literary magazine submissions, maybe the makings of a romance novel." From the rearview mirror, he watches her try and fail to suppress a smile.

"Hey, homemade ice cream, let's stop," Maya encourages. Once they park she turnes to Kate, "you getting out of the car?"

"I could be persuaded."

Xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Edisto Beach is gorgeous at sunset. Maya had brought a blanket to sit on, along with a basket full of sandwiches, chips, and fruit.

"Why don't you and Kate go for a walk, work off that ice cream, while I set up our food?"

Rick holds an outstretched arm out to her and she wraps hers around his waist, kicking off her flip-flops in the process.

"You okay?" He finally asks once they'd walked a while.

"Yeah," she said, "just brought up a lot today, you know?"

They stop walking.

"There is going to be an end to this you know? And even if it takes a while, look where we are Kate," he motioned to the beautiful scenery, and then, almost to convince himself, "it is going to get better."

She smiled at him, "I know."

"As soon as we can do the deed," he grabs her hip and roughly pulls her to him.

"I didn't think _that_ was what you meant," she said.

"Oh Kate, everything is better with _that_," he hugs her, taking the opportunity to run his fingers through her hair.

"Castle," she warns, but he was already kissing her neck and walking her backwards into the surf, "Maya says we need to wait a bit, you have self-control, don't you Rick?" She moves her hands to squeeze his rear.

She shrieks as a larger wave lapped up the back of her knees, "Castle, stop, wait, I'm sorry I teased."

"Soon, Kate."

He turns her so they both face the ocean with his arms wrapped around hers.

"See Kate, we can dive into it together," he whispers in her ear.

xoxoxoxoxoxo

A week later Langley had been by twice, the last time revealing that they had filed the paperwork to try to get an arrest warrant for Cole Maddox and two others, they were hoping to get him to roll on the suspected dragon. Things were starting to pick up speed.

At lunch, Maya makes an announcement.

"I'm going to take the car tonight, spend the night in a hotel. We aren't going to discuss anything other than this, Katie managed to spend thirty minutes treading water today. I think that deserves a reward."

Kate laughs into the forkful of potato salad she's lifted to her mouth. Castle just looks confused, they haven't shared their deal with him.

"Okay," Kate says with a wink.

"Also, as much as I love hanging out with you guys, I'm not so sure you need me anymore, I'll be going back with Greg Langley when he comes on Monday."

Both Kate and Castle's faces drop.

"Maya," Castle says, "are you sure? We don't really want you to go."

Kate has tears in her eyes, "can't you stay a little longer?"

"I would love to, but you don't really need me," she reaches out to stroke Kate's hand, "you're both strong, you have each other."

"Will we see you again?" she asks quietly.

"I'm sure, some time, when you have your lives back in order."

"Don't go," Kate is up and hugging Maya fiercely.

"Kate," Maya says, "you can do this, you are strong, you have Rick. I finished two of your Nikki Heat books, you know? You are an amazing woman Katie, you don't need me."


	7. Chapter 7

She's hunting around for something sexy to wear in her limited supply of clothes, but there isn't anything. Maya has left them dinner and slipped out while Rick was on the phone with their contact at the FBI. He's arranging finance and book stuff, they'll make the contact with his people. It's a frustrating system, trying to live a complicated life through a third party. He always ends these phone calls in a bad mood.

And now he realizes he's alone in the house.

He goes to find Kate, but she isn't in their bedroom, or the kitchen or living room. He's called for her twice. Last place to check is the pool.

"Kate?" he can see her head bobbing in the water.

"Hey, Maya's gone, wanna come join me?"

He's just realized.

"Are you naked?"

"I didn't have any sexy lingerie; I thought you might prefer this."

"Uh huh huh, Kate, does this mean what I think it means?"

"What do you think it means, stud?"

He's stripping off his clothes with the all the grace and patience of a kid waiting for a carnival ride.

She's laughing at his impatience to reach her.

His kiss is not gentle, it is primal and rough and a little bit cave-man, but she gets it, knows he needs this. This intimacy with her is a gift she knows he doesn't take for granted, a gift of love that she giving. His lips are possessive, overwhelming, even as his tongue is strategically wooing her. He works his way to her ear and down her neck to that place he's found before. He knows he'll get a response from her if he works that spot. Her arms cradle his shoulders, she's hanging on against her own weak-in-the-knees response.

"I'm going to leave a mark on you," he whispers to her, "you okay with that?"

She moans against him.

"I'm gonna take that as a 'yes,'" he laughs, sliding his thumbs to circle her breasts, a moment later she feels his mouth where his thumbs have been. He feels her squeeze him tighter. When he slides his hands down her slim waist, she arches, pushing her hips into him, giving him better access to her chest. If she wasn't struggling for breath before, she definitely is when he suddenly pulls her thighs up and over his hips. The buoyancy of the water is definitely helping, _everything._

"Kate? We are gonna have to move this party inside. Maya left me a gift," he's walking up the pool steps with her still wrapped around him. She's fallen forward onto his neck, marking him the same way he's just marked her.

Earlier he'd found an obscene amount of small foil packs lying on the keyboard of his computer. Maya's enthusiastic reminder to use protection. He snags a handful awkwardly as he carries Kate to their bed.

"God, I've missed you," he says, settling between her thighs, nose-to-nose he sighs in contentment, "love you."

"Prove it," she smiles sweetly, "make me forget about everything, make me just remember you and how much I love you."

His kiss is slow and sweet. At first. His intensity growing with every encouraging moan and whimper she emits. Later, when she finally arches into him, writhing with ecstasy, it pleases him to no end that he can do this to her, for her. She is astonishingly beautiful basking in his love.

She loves the intimacy of them, loves when he's so close and his eyes hold nothing but her. She loves what it does to him when she comes undone beneath him, like he's found his life's calling, like he was made to do this to her. She loves how, even though they haven't been doing this that long, she's figured out what he likes, what he wants her to do to him, what she wants him to do to her. It's startling and familiar all at once. It's not sex or sleeping together, it's making love. It's right.

The first light of day finds them sated from round three, dinner has gone uneaten and the world has faded away.

She's laying on her back, arms outstretched, taking up most of the bed, one fisted hand at the center of his chest. He feels her knuckles rubbing his sternum as she hums herself awake.

"Good morning my heart," he whispers poetically.

"Mmm,"comes her sleepy reply.

"You okay?"

"Mmmhmmm."

He chuckles and sits up to look her over. She's stunning, spread-eagle like this, the sheets not totally covering her, her hair a messy halo around her beautiful face.

He moves to lean over her, arms holding him up on either side of her torso, and kisses her cheek.

She opens her eyes and marvels at how amazing his eyes are, how touched her soul is when he looks at her like this. He leans his forehead on hers a moment.

"I am so in love with you, I wish I had the words to tell you," she whispers.

His hands are sliding under her ribs, arching her in his arms, "You just did," he squeezes her into a hug, kisses her on the forehead and pulls her to get out of bed.

By the time they have showered and picked over dinner from the night before as their brunch, Maya is back. She walks in just as Rick releases Kate from the corner his body is trapping her into, between the counter and the refrigerator. Kate's neck has red splotches.

"Well, I see you two had a good night," she teases.

"I was just checking to make sure Kate didn't have swimmer's ear," Castle grins. Kate hasn't met Maya's eyes yet.

"Um hum," the older woman says knowingly.

Xoxoxoxoxoxoxox

Kate's a little frustrated, when it is summer and hot, there is no way she can cover his love bites on her neck. She didn't really want to do her hair and even if she puts on her highest necked t-shirt, she can't hide them. To top it off, Langley is coming today.

And Maya is leaving.

She's looking in the mirror, not really seeing herself when Rick slips in behind her, settling his clasped hands over her stomach. She leans her head back into his shoulder and speaks to their reflection.

"I don't know what I'm going to do without her," she whispers.

"You'll see her again," he tries to sooth.

Xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Greg Langley has brought her a stack of suits to wear at trial, along with the news that despite his best efforts, Cole Maddox is not revealing the name of the dragon who ordered the hit on Kate. He hopes that the trial, the threat of a capital crime, might further sway Maddox, especially if it becomes apparent he will lose with the jury.

This time Castle sits with her at the table, arm draped over the back of her chair, he needs to know things.

"What are your security plans to get her in and out of the courtroom?"

"We will need to move you both back into the city, a safe house closer to the courthouse. Armed security, it will be like escorting the president I assure you, Mr. Castle. " Langley's confident.

"Then make my apartment the safe house."

"Rick . . ." Kate starts.

"No Kate, if they can secure a safe house, they can secure my place. All this stress has made you sick, at the very least they can provide a soft spot to land at the end of the day. Home Kate. I want us to go home together."

"I'll see what I can do, but no promises."

"And my daughter and mother? Her father?" Castle presses.

"Again, I'll see what I can do."

Xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

It's less of an emotional parting than Castle was expecting, Kate hugs Maya a long time before finally releasing her at the front door. Castle wraps a comforting arm around her waist as soon as Maya steps to the car. It's like the two women can't say anything that would cause either of their emotional dams to break.

As they are pulling away the tinted back passenger window slides down and Maya's calling out, "Love you Kate. Love you Rick."

"Love you too Maya," they reply in unison. And that's all it takes to choke them both, Kate lets her tears fall silently.

He squeezes her hip and together they go in the house.

Xoxoxoxoxoxoxox

Rick is always in a good mood when he gets to talk to Alexis. She's told him they've started securing his apartment, bullet-proof glass and motion detectors; she thinks they may also be making plans to install a panic room. She also tells him his mother is beside herself with frustration over her security team. Alexis herself isn't so happy.

"Oh it's super great to have a guy in a dark suit following you to a fraternity mixer. Really makes the guys want to get to know you."

"Oh my God, I love these guys." He teases.

When he finally hangs up, silence fills the space. Kate is curled up on one end of the couch reading, her knees up, biting her thumb.

"Whatcha reading?" he flops next to her feet, needing to keep the good extroverted vibe going that he's started with Alexis.

"Conrad," she replies shortly, not changing her expression.

"You're reading Alex Conrad?"

"One writer girl," she says, annoyed at the interruption. She waves him off with her hand, but doesn't look up from the page.

He smirks at her, but decides to leave her alone in favor of preparing her lunch.


	8. Chapter 8

She doesn't come to the table for lunch and really, he's pretty sure it has less to do with her absorption in Alex Conrad's book and more to do with some kind of mourning over Maya. She's always done this. Secret mourning. Her own private pain.

He'd hoped they were past that now, that she would open up in this way too, but he sees now, it's going to be a longer game than he thought.

He puts some of her summer favorites on a little plate for her. Knows she likes those big California strawberries; the darker, the better. He's sure she'll eat them if he puts some cheese and baby carrots alongside the plate with a few jelly-filled cookies that she and Maya baked, made with their road-side purchase, peach jam.

He puts the plate on her stomach as she lays on the couch with her knees drawn up, book resting on them. He scoots the coffee table closer to the couch so she can reach the bottle of water he's placed there and turns to bend over and plant a quick kiss on her forehead.

As he walks away he hears her, "Castle?"

"Yeah?" He turns to face her.

"Thanks." He knows she means more than just for lunch.

"Always."

oxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

He's officially bored. There are only so many days that he can write, sunbathe, get in the pool, play on his i-pad, and today, without Maya, or Kate for that matter, he's feeling a little cabin fever.

He closes the i-pad and sets it aside from his chaise by the pool. Maybe he should nap? He's not really tired. That's okay, maybe he'll just spend a little time in his imagination, thinking about Kate and what they did the other night.

And then he feels her fingers, cold from her time in the air-conditioned house, sliding along his neck until he opens his eyes.

When he does, she puts her hands on both his shoulders, slides her cold toe down his thigh to put a knee on the chaise between his legs. She rocks a bit to slide down his chest and lay on top of him, face to face.

"You done reading?" he asks, his hands coming around to her waist, rubbing her back.

"Yeah, I'm bored. Can't fall asleep." She says. He laughs a little, she has no idea he's in the same spot.

"Ok, I bet I can help with that."

"Oh yeah? What are you proposing?"

He lifts an eyebrow, "That comes later Kate," she lifts her head to look him in the eye, " I'm _suggesting_ one of three options. We could clean the house."

"Mmph," she spits out, rolling her eyes.

"We could go do the food shopping."

She sighs. She knows, reasonably, they do need to do some chores.

"Or . . ."

"Or?" She repeats.

"Or, we could . . ." He doesn't finish the sentence because he has his hands on her rear and he's timed it with a little upward hip thrust. His eyebrows raise.

She's laughing at him at the same time she attaches herself to his mouth, working his jaw with a wanton intensity. And then things turn from silly to serious.

She moans into his mouth as his tongue resumes a very different kind of sword play. Rucking up the back of her shirt to touch her skin, she slides down to give herself leverage to stand. He reluctantly lets her go, thrilled when she stands above him with her hand outstretched to take his.

She leans her weight back to pull him up and he uses the momentum to catapult himself into her arms, lifting her off her feet as he embraces her.

"Changed my mind," she says, "I think we'd better clean the house."

"Okay," he teases right back, pulling her down so she has to bend her knees and he can sweep an arm behind them, carrying her, "let's start by fluffing the pillows."

She throws her head back to laugh and he can see the long line of her beautiful neck.

oxoxoxoxoxoxo

"Why don't you ever want to tell me when you're hurting?" He asks her while they are bathed in the golden late-afternoon sunlight. Sated, he's on his back, head resting on her stomach while with one hand she idly plays with his hair, the other arm draped across his chest.

She's lifting her arm off his chest but he grabs it, holds it there, links his fingers with hers. It's better if he doesn't look at her, he knows she thinks he can read her mind in those eyes, gives her a moment to settle.

When she doesn't immediately answer, he rubs his hand up and down her forearm, hoping it anchors, hoping it bridges.

"I know this is all new Kate, but if we are going to dive in together, I want to share things with you. I think we are both stronger when we are together, at least I am."

"Me too, "she whispers in agreement.

"Scares you a little to think you might need a writer boy as much as he needs you?"

That breaks some ice and he can feel her stomach muscles moving with her laugh, "Ya."

A moment of silence ensues; he decides to wait her out. If there is one thing Rick Castle knows, it's how to wait for Kate Beckett.

"I miss Maya," she finally says.

"Me too."

"I think the trial is going to be hard." He hears what she isn't saying. _I think the trial is going to be hard on me. I'm scared._

"You know I'm here. I'm going wherever you're going."

"I know," and she resumes raking her fingers across his scalp.

"What else do you know?" He asks, prodding.

"I know that having you here makes it better. I know that."

She's said it with confidence, he believes she believes.

He moves to lie next to her as she rolls on her side to face him, they mirror each other, hands under their pillows, knees touching.

"We are going to get past this, you know? We are going to go back to what we love to do."

"Pester and annoy me during cases?" she teases.

"I was thinking: drink coffee and make out."

"Ha," she says flatly, and then soberly she finishes, "I'm scared of dragging you into all of this."

"And I'm scared of you shutting me out of all of this."

His words take her breath away.

She reaches out to trace his face, "I won't. I promise I won't this time."

He reaches out to snag her hand from his face, kisses her fingers and then hooks his pinky finger around hers, "Pinky promise Katherine Beckett?"

"Pinky promise, Rick Castle," she says solemnly.

oxoxoxoxoxxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

"Absolutely not." She's practically shouting, he can hear her from down the hall. Langley is here and he's taken to using the time to write a note for Alexis or catch up on whatever news comes with the prosecutor's arrival.

He decides based on her tone alone that he needs to intervene.

Uh oh, wrong move.

Kate is standing, obviously pacing and she has a hand on her forehead, the other wrapped around her waist. He knows this stance. She's worried. The moment she sees him she shoots him a look that says she doesn't appreciate his presence. Her eyes drop back to Langley, "Greg, please. There has to be some other way."

Even in those words, she's relented. She hears it in her own voice.

"I wish there were another way, but Kate, we need to nail this guy. If you want any shot at a resolution to this thing we need to hit them with everything we've got. We need to bring this to their doorstep."

_Shit._ It's her own words echoed back and she knows it, glances at Castle and knows, he's heard it too.

She closes her eyes and nods her head slowly.

"Mr. Castle," Langley starts, "we are going to need you to testify."


	9. Chapter 9

"He's going to blame Roy," her words are barely above a whisper and she's looking right at him as she says them, "He's going to say that Roy ordered the hit on me as an alternate theory of the crime."

"I don't understand, that doesn't make any sense . . ."

Langley interrupts, "Mr. Castle, you are the only other person that can verify the events of that evening, to confirm that although Roy Montgomery had an opportunity to kill Kate, he didn't, that he even protected her from getting killed by the same people who killed him."

She's come around to step closer to him, "they didn't know we were there, Rick. They have no idea what happened in that hangar and they want to persuade a jury that Roy was at the heart of this whole thing, that he ordered a hit on me but it wasn't carried out until after he was killed in the commission of another crime."

"Shit."

"If you don't testify, Mr. Castle, it comes down to Kate and why she might lie about the events of that night. It will make it sound like a conspiracy against Cole Maddox. Like Kate has something to hide." Castle appreciates this guy's drive, but he isn't sure about his motivations. Greg Langley isn't going to lose this case.

"Of course, I'll do whatever you need me to do," he pulls out a chair to sit at the table. Kate watches him a moment and then slides into the seat next to him, putting a hand on his thigh, he threads his fingers through hers.

"Let's start with your recollection of the events leading to the shooting."

xoxoxoxxoxoxoxox

It's grueling and he suddenly understands her compulsion to be alone after these meetings. It's like going to a therapist with all the pain and none of the comfort.

What goes unsaid is all of the business between Kate and himself. Their argument. His hands forcing her out of the hangar, her momentary hatred of him. Not a hatred for Roy, the one who had caused this, but a hatred for his overwhelming adoration for her that stopped her from sacrificing herself. Their distance at the funeral. His words to her as she lay on the ground both lifeblood and confidence draining out of her.

It's such a short story without all those emotional entanglements.

Roy had called him that night with no details, but Rick had trusted him, had no reason not to believe him to be the fatherly figure he'd always portrayed himself to be in their presence. He showed up at the hangar in time to fear the gun the man displayed, the words of betrayal he'd spoken. And then he was bearing the casket at the funeral, and then, Kate was dead.

He felt her tighten her fingers over his in his very brief, very un-Castle-like description of the events of that day. There was no discussion of the setting, no plot, no character development, simply the facts, as though that was as much as he could handle.

"Okay," Greg finally says, "I think that's enough for today. I will want to go over this for some details and potential defense questions next time I come. Trial preliminaries start next week, I'm going to estimate the time line for this at another three weeks before we start setting up the testimony schedule. You should prepare yourself for a long stretch on the stand, Kate. Don't expect it to be just a day, we've got far too much to present."

It's Castle's turn to squeeze Kate's hand.

"Our crew has finished the security work on your apartment Mr. Castle, and we should be able to install you both there at the end of next week, after we've finished vetting the other residents and staff in your building. I will warn you though, once we've moved you, you won't be able to come and go as you please, the apartment or the courthouse, no other places."

"How long?" Castle has just realized the magnitude of their situation.

"Months at the very least, depends on the trial."

Something about saying it out loud makes it real. It's like someone has just hit the gong, the vibration from the statement continues to ring around the room. Castle looks at Kate, her face is tight. If he didn't know her so well, he might not know that face means she's worried.

He slides an arm around her, traps her neck in the crook of his elbow, and pulls her in to kiss her temple.

"I can't tell you what to do," Langley says nonchalantly, " but I am going to say, it would look a lot more professional to a jury if they don't know you two are a couple. I'd ask you to keep your affections outside of the courtroom."

oxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

He feels bitter-sweet closing the door behind Greg Langley and his dark-suit entourage. He can see Alexis in ten days. On the other hand, Kate's condemned to dependence and reliving her nightmare. Yeah, there's no way his imagination can write that sunny.

He finds her in the kitchen cleaning up the coffee mugs they used. When he goes unacknowledged, he moves closer and puts his hand in her line of vision, pinky outstretched.

She closes her eyes a moment and when she opens them she tentatively wraps her pinky around his, "give me a moment, okay?"

"'kay" is all he says and leaves her alone despite his overwhelming desire to do the opposite.

oxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

She knows he's still secretly watching her. He could sit in any chair in the living room, but he's chosen the one with the view toward the open kitchen. She's certain that, although he is trying to feign interest in his i-pad, he really wants to have a conversation.

"Okay," she starts, not even fully in the room, "we are going to do this. We are going to testify and they are going to convict and Maddox is going to give us the dragon. What's a few months if it finally gives us justice?"

"Oh, hello, Determined-Kate-Beckett, haven't seen you in a while," he smiles, "and I really like that you used the word 'us' in that last sentence."

"Ugh," she says flopping into the couch adjacent to him, immediately covering her head with her hands, "I said that, but I'm not that optimistic!"

He laughs at her. He can't help it, she really is adorable. "Are you not optimistic about catching this guy or about us?"

"Oh good, you can laugh about that, now who's the optimistic one?" She swats him on the leg and he takes the opportunity to grab her hand and hold it.

"Now, tell me, for real, what scares you most about this?"

"I told you already, I didn't want to drag you into this." She's sandwiching his hand between hers.

"I'm already in it, it's too late, but that's not what scares you most."

"Okay Mr. Optimistic, what scares me the most?" She's trying his trick of being funny while avoiding the real issue. Too bad he's already an expert at that.

"You're scared of the stress of being together twenty-four-seven during the trial of your life is going to ruin us."

She's a little stunned. "Geez Castle, way to be blunt. I believe I've told you this before, but sometimes for the sake of a relationship it is better not to share."

"We'll work it out, it's going to be okay. It doesn't have to ruin anything, but we do need to try to head -off some of the tension so that it doesn't affect us."

"How'd you get to be so smart all of a sudden?"

"Lots of mind-blowing sex with the girl I love." He waggles his eyebrows at her, wraps a hand around her knee and pulls her forward to peck her lips.

"You know I was thinking . . ." Their faces are still inches from each other.

"I already told you, I don't do costumes, Castle."

"Ha. And you don't do costumes _yet_, Kate." She smirks and he continues, "I was thinking that we should take this opportunity to go out and do something, we could see if they'll let us take a little vacation."

"Castle, we aren't doing anything now, I think this is a vacation."

"You know what I mean, go somewhere fun, to the mountains maybe or stay on the beach, close to the ocean, would you like that?"

"Yeah, anywhere with you," she can't help it, he's just too sweet to her, she leans forward to kiss him again.

"Got a preference or do you want me to surprise you?"

"You know I hate surprises."

"Let me see what I can do."

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

As it turns out, Greg Langley is not a fan of any of his suggestions. No, they cannot go to Paris. No, they can't go to Disney. And absolutely no, they are not going to be seen out in a casino. Langley is adamant that he take more precaution with their safety.

"The only reason I let Beckett leave our direct custody is because she wasn't going to make it to trial at the rate she was deteriorating. I let you in on this little venture Mr. Castle, and it wasn't to make our jobs more difficult."

"I have one more suggestion," Castle prods.

Greg Langley sighs.

"I want to rent a yacht."

Xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

He's behind her in the bathtub, helping her by using the soapy puff on one long leg as she lifts it up.

She sighs contentedly and leans back on his chest. She's already told him that she really likes that he can participate in her hobbies.

"So I've got a little field trip plan that Greg approved, do you want to hear it or do you want me to surprise you? Because I really . . ." he's kissing her neck, "really . . ." his hand has moved to the top of her leg, and it isn't the part that's visible above the waterline, "want to surprise you."

She's gasping over what he's just done to surprise her. "I guess not all surprises are bad," she manages breathily.

"Okay then, we need to pack up and clean up this house starting tomorrow, because Katherine Beckett, I have a lovely surprise for you and then, we are finally going home."


	10. Chapter 10

She laughs when she sees the name of the boat, _King of the World_. "You picked this one for the name alone?" He's guiding her by her hand onto the gangplank. It isn't a huge boat, but it is sleek and sexy. Just like her.

"Got you a present," he says as soon as they've toured the space, bags spread out on the bed. He hands her two boxes he's pulled from his.

"What's this?"

"One for now and one for later."

She opens the first one to find an impossibly small black bikini. She smirks at him. "Seems like this one is more of a gift for you, Castle."

He goes with Cheshire cat smile. "I was only thinking that all that chlorine from the pool may have damaged your other swimwear."

"Oh, okay, thanks for thinking of me."

She pulls open the second box and discovers a black negligee. He laughs when she balls it up and tosses it in his face, when it lands on the floor she looks down at it.

"Looks good on the carpet," she says smugly as she wraps her arms around his neck, smiling.

oxoxoxoxoxxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

He wishes the crew wasn't all male. He's pretty certain he could convince her to wear nothing. They've been out to sea, headed toward the Bahamas, for a few hours now and it feels like they are the only ones in the world.

His favorite activity has definitely been slathering her in sun tan lotion. More than once she has said, "I didn't think I was in danger of sunburn _there_, Castle."

He's brought her back a bottle of water, and now to look at her laying on the deck, her hair blowing in the wind, her long limbs stretched out, he's just in awe. She's lying face down and one of his favorite parts of her is available for eye candy.

"Quit staring, you know I find that creepy."

"How _do_ you know when I am doing that?"

oxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

She wears the negligee the first night, she smells like coconut and sunshine. He cuddles with her long after the boat has stopped moving. The crew seems ultra-conscious of their privacy, and she's surprised to find a full breakfast tray outside their door. It doesn't increase her motivation to get out of bed, but the view outside does.

"God Castle, come look at this view." She's on her tip-toes pitched forward to look out the window, the negligee riding up to reveal her assets.

"Nope, I'm good with the view right here." He waggles his eyebrows at her.

oxoxoxoxoxoxooxoxoxoxoxo

It doesn't just feel like they are the only people in the world, they are the only people on this little island, with its white sand beach and tiny jungle area. It feels wild and romantic and the stuff of his 'captive on a tropic island' fantasies. He'd love to keep her here, keep her safe from the evil that she's about to be subjected to. Right now, none of that matters.

He is having fun with Kate Beckett. She's convinced him to take one of the kayaks, finding an area to snorkel. They did a lot of good-natured bickering. They've walked the beach, after a late afternoon lunch, hand-in-hand, with her only wearing a bikini and a sarong. She's whispered the secrets of her childhood, their partnership. He's told her his teen angst. His dreams for Alexis. He doesn't want it to end.

They've walked out of view of the yacht crew, on the far side of their little world. He's got one more fantasy to fulfill.

His mouth takes her by surprise when he catches her as she bends to pick up a shell. Then he's laving at her lower lip, slow and sweet. His fingers slide along her scalp, pull the strands of her hair lightly as he bends her back, laying her in the sand. He lays over her, caresses her cheek, watches her eyes.

"You think we are going to do this in the sand?" she asks.

"Uh huh."

"Castle, there's a reason people don't do this."

He's adoring her neck, "umm, public indecency."

She's debating with herself, it is hard to keep the argument straight with him like this, "Sand scratches Castle."

"So do you, Kate."

The next two days involve a lot of the same, they realized they don't really need the negligee.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

She doesn't let go of his hand when they dock in New Jersey.

"Mr. Castle? Ms. Beckett?" He recognizes the black-suits from the entourage that used to come to the house. It's a stark difference, the carefree, light and beautiful days they just spent, and this dark and broodish greeting.

He tightens his grip on her hand and doesn't let go, all the way back to the city.

oxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

It feels wrong to speak, like they have to whisper in the back seat. The two men up front are not communicating with each other, but they are communicating with some unseen troop of protectors. Every once in a while they overhear a status report.

"I really want them to give us nicknames," he whispers in her ear, "you can be Squirrel and I'll be Moose."

"Or you could be Batman and I could be Electra." Damn, he really likes this girl.

"Oh I like yours much better, let's ask." When he leans forward to tap the shocked black-suit on the shoulder, he's met with a rather stoic face.

"Hey."

The man does not reply.

"Any chance that you guys could give us code names? "

It's not exactly crickets chirping, more like the silence surrounding a funeral.

Castle swallows and his voice is timid, "we prefer Batman?" he's whispering as the man stares him down, "and Electra?"

She presses her lips together to suppress a laugh as the black-suit turns back to face the road, never acknowledging the conversation.

A few moments later and they are turning on his street, she squeezes his hand.

He turns his body to her, reaches to grab both sets of hands, smiles at her. "We're home Kate."


	11. Chapter 11

Kate is stunned to see her bedroom furniture has been moved to Castle's spare bedroom.

"Space, Kate," he's just found her standing in the room.

She reaches out to put her hand on his chest, gives him a half-smile, too overwhelmed to say anything. He's always been thoughtful. It touches her every time, makes her feel loved. It always has.

They hear the front door open downstairs, one black-suit is stationed inside the front door, and one is stationed outside. It seems they'll never be opening the door on their own again.

"Dad?"

His face lights up and he's turning to dash away from his second love to find his first.

Xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxxo

"Alexissssssss!"

"Dad!"

He is swinging her around the middle of the living area. When he finally sets her down, there are tears in both their eyes.

"I missed you so much, Pumpkin."

"Me too, dad," she whispers.

Kate can hear them chattering, talking over each other trying to share updates and ask questions. While she can't make out the specifics of what they are saying, the sounds of their animation tells her how much they've missed each other.

She unpacks her bag and goes through the familiar dresser drawers. Her lingerie drawer. Her guitar. Her pictures and books and her bedspread. It's like she's forgotten what her life was just six months ago.

She sighs and rests her head against her pillows. Five minutes later, she's asleep.

oxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

"Detective Beckett?" She starts at the sound of Alexis' voice.

"Oh, sorry."

"Dad says dinner is almost ready, come down and eat."

The young woman turns to leave.

"Wait, Alexis," she hesitates, "please call me Kate."

"Okay, Kate," Alexis says awkwardly. Kate feels it, the uneasiness, knows she isn't good at smoothing this kind of thing over.

She smiles at Alexis and rises to go down to dinner.

oxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

"Hey! There's my other girl," he's sautéing something when she comes down the stairs, but he looks up to smile at her, popping a piece of pepper in his mouth.

"Really? Your other girl?" Both Alexis and Kate give him a look.

It's awkward right through dinner. Kate isn't saying much, isn't sure how to act. It's never been just the three of them, and she realizes what a buffer Martha is.

Rick already feels the absence of her touch.

Alexis finishes relaying her the weirdness of her Anthropology professor, "and you do not want to show up late or you wind up sitting in the front row."

"Nothing wrong with that," her father encourages.

"Except that this guy has a serious accent and every letter 's' sends a spray of spit across the first two rows!"

All three laugh, but the story was only told between two of them. It's noticeable.

"Hey, "he says taking Kate's hand, "I told Alexis about the snorkeling we did, but I didn't tell her what we saw." He wants to nudge her into the conversation.

She leans forward and instead of continuing, she says, "Alexis, I don't want know how to make this less awkward. Your dad and I are close. I . . ."

"She loves me Alexis," he cuts her off.

There is an uncomfortable moment. And then,

"Well do you?" Alexis is challenging Kate.

"Yeah."

"Then why aren't you saying it to me, why is he telling me?" She staring down the detective. "How long will this last? Until the crisis is over? Until you find someone else?"

"Alexis, stop it," he intervenes.

"No dad, you stop it, stop your romantic interpretation of whatever character you made up in your head. I've seen what she's done to you, how she's hurt you, and that's not love." She turns to the detective, "When you went away this time he was almost over you, he could have done it, he could have gotten over you, but then you called him back and he was willing to drop everything for you. Like always."

Her words hang in the air.

"Alexis, I don't know what to say to . . . ."

But she's cutting Kate off, her voice icy calm, just answer me this, "Are you here because you want to be, or because you have to be?"

"Because I want to be, Alexis," she meets the girl's eyes, her own growing fiery, "you think I haven't given up everything to be with him?" She chokes on her own words, tries to hide the surge of emotion that is betraying her. She's let go of his hand.

"Don't make him chose Alexis, please," her voice barely above a whisper," because he will choose you every time and it will ruin me. You want me to leave? I will. But don't make him chose, Alexis."

The three of them exchange glances.

"Okay," Castle says slowly holding up his hands," this is not the way I hoped this evening would go, but let me make something clear, Kate isn't going anywhere. It isn't safe and it isn't reasonable. Also, she's right Alexis, I would choose you, I would always choose you, but I'd be an unlucky prize. Kate makes me a better man."

His eyes glitter at both sentiments.

"I love you both."

"I think maybe I should leave you two alone," Kate says rising.

"No Kate, don't," he pleads.

"No Castle, you haven't spent time with your daughter."

"Please Kate, we can work this out."

"It's going to take time to work this out," she gives him a weak smile, "I think maybe the best peace offering at the moment is to give you both time together, okay?"

Alexis is mute.

"Castle, I want to call my dad."

She manages to pat his shoulder as she makes her way to spend her first night in her new home.

oxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

It's 2 AM and he can't sleep. Kate and Alexis' argument is going through his mind. He's scared.

He really needs this to work.

When he checks her door, he finds it unlocked. He knows that isn't accidental.

She rolls over and sighs into him the moment he lays beside her, "so glad you finally came," she whispers, they are both asleep in minutes.

oxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

Alexis sips her coffee and glances over her text book for class today. She is not stupid, she knows what it means.

Her father has come from upstairs and not his main floor bedroom.

"Morning, Pumpkin." He kisses her temple and pours himself a cup of coffee, "breakfast?"

She closes her eyes. "You're happy," she says simply.

He stops and leans over the counter to look at her. Mirrors an old conversation they once had over a high school textbook. "Yes, Alexis, she makes me happy."

She gives him a scowl.

"I'll add one thing, the reason that I keep going back to her? Because I'm unhappy without her."

She reaches out and places a palm on his cheek, "I do want you to be happy, Dad."

They hear Kate open the door upstairs.

"I need to be getting to class," she rushes.

"Alexis."

"Really, I've got to go Dad, I'll see you tonight, okay?"

"Love you," he calls to his daughter in time to see Kate appear at the top of the stairs.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Greg Langley is at the door before they've really had a chance to talk. Rick's already lamenting their lazy mornings in the Bahamas.

By lunch, Langley's managed to expand Castle's narrative, coached Kate through the legalities of being a victim and a cop, as in, corroborate any statement made as part of the investigation as a joint effort of their team. And Langley's managed to throw them one more surprise.

He needs to meet with her entire team at once.

As soon as she realizes this means she can see Ryan and Esposito, she's glowing. It's the only bright spot in the last 24 hours. Castle's thrilled too, one step closer to their old life.


	12. Chapter 12

It hits him when he realizes he's almost out of her vanilla creamer . He can't just run to the bodega around the corner and pick up another bottle.

He no longer controls his own front door.

oxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

"How are you dear Kate?" Martha sing-songs as she floats across the room, she's swept Kate up in a hug before the younger woman can respond.

She holds her son's embrace for a little longer than is entirely comfortable.

"Does a mother's heart good to see her son happy," she whispers in his ear.

Martha's joins their dinner, and all three of them are relieved they don't need to relive last night's awkwardness.

oxoxoxoxoxxoxoxoxoxo

They sit on opposite ends of the couch during the movie, it's a visual representation of their whole day. Martha begs off early, she's been keeping company with a new beau. Alexis and Rick are huddled around the laptop investigating some _Game of Thrones_ fan site.

She slips off to bed without anyone noticing.

He falls asleep on the couch watching episodes of the show to prove some debated point to Alexis.

oxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Kate is up early, slips past the slumber party in the living room, and into the kitchen and decides maybe she needs to make some inroads.

She is finishing making a stack of waffles when Alexis stumbles to the counter.

"Class today?" she asks. Seems like a safe line of questioning.

"Not until after lunch, but I should probably go to the library first."

"What are you taking?"

"Mostly general classes, todays is intro to sociology."

"Interesting?"

"Sort of."

And then they are in another awkward moment before Kate asks, "coffee?"

Alexis nods.

She fills the mug as Alexis hesitates, "you make my dad happy."

"Yeah." She's a detective, she knows how to draw people out.

"That might have to be enough for now."

She looks at Alexis, puts down the coffee pot, "thank you."

oxoxoxoxoxooxoxoxoxoxo

"So," he turns to her after Alexis leaves later that morning, "missed you last night."

"Yo, Beckett!" The interruption of the Hispanic detective's entrance does more to heal her heart than she ever expected. Following him through the door are Ryan and Langley.

Esposito lifts her off her feet, "Lanie wanted to come but they wouldn't let her."

Kevin squeezes her, bear hug style, arms pinned.

They slap shoulders and feed-the-birds with Castle.

Even the dark subject matter of their business with Langley can't overshadow their team reunion. One step closer to normal.

oxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ryan claims it was too damn hard to get in the apartment and he's not leaving any earlier than he wants to. She's never been allowed to see into their video game night and, as charmed as she is by the picture of the three of them camped out in front of Castle's LCD-projected game, she also knows, it's guy time.

She announces she's going to her room to call Lanie. Once she's gone Esposito turns to Castle.

"Yo, dude, your bedroom still not her bedroom?"

"Yeah right," he starts, but then stops and whispers, "how do you know?"

"Know what, Castle?"

"About Beckett and I?"

"There's a 'Beckett and I'? Espo echos.

"Do tell, Castle." Ryan smirks.

He realizes he's given away more than he wanted to.

"Come on dude, this is between us," yeah, Ryan's a woo-er.

He looks between the two expectant detectives.

"You tell her," he whispers conspiratorially," and she will kill us all."

All three shake their heads.

oxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

They are letting Gina in the house and he couldn't be less thrilled, he was hoping he'd have an excuse not to meet with her. Gina's not stupid, she knows to go to Greg Langley to get her access.

So now he's stuck in his office going over publication details, deciding to cancel the book tour, and trying to figure out how he can do book promotion from home.

"Might be nice if Kate was willing to join you in these interviews? Takes the sting out of not showing up in person," leave it to Gina to turn this nightmare into a potential gold mine.

He's too tired to argue with her, hell, by the time Ryan and Esposito left last night he was too tired to climb the stairs to Kate. He fell asleep on his bed, fully clothed.

He tells Gina he'll ask Kate.

oxoxoxoxoxxoxoxoxoxox

Kate has been sitting at the dining room table with Greg since early this morning, they've set a time line for her testimony. He thinks they'll be ready for her on Monday afternoon.

"Kate," Greg shows a human-side, puts his hand over hers across the table, "just tell the truth, it can't hurt you."

She looks at their covered hands and then into his eyes.

"You can do this Kate." The Prosecutor holds her gaze, smiles wide.

He takes his hand off Kate's when Castle enters the room, standing quickly.

"I . . .think that's enough for today," Greg says, "I will see you on Monday, Kate, 10 AM."

They both watch as the black-suit at the door lets him out.

"Coffee?" she asks to cover the awkwardness.

"Sure," he says, watching her.

_Damn._ She just realized they are out of vanilla creamer.


	13. Chapter 13

"Castle, I . . .," she starts. Knows somehow just that little moment with Greg is between them.

But his phone is ringing and they never finish the conversation. It mars their first afternoon alone since they returned to the city.

She naps.

He plays on the internet.

She reads, in the living room. It would be nicer to curl up in his office. Instead, she's wishing she didn't feel like there were barriers. The more they haven't discussed it, the more it's grown.

"Alexis has a party tonight. Pasta for dinner okay?" He suddenly appears out his office for the first time in a few hours.

"Yeah, sounds good, can I help?" She sounds falsely bright to her own ears.

"If you want," his smile doesn't reach his eyes.

Xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

She's chopping carrots for a salad when she feels the first hot tear strike her cheek. Brushes it away.

He's doing his own thing to prepare the sauce, working on the other counter in this vast, vast kitchen.

Backs to each other, neither of them have said a word in the last ten minutes they've been working.

It isn't until he needs to rinse off the shrimp knife in the sink that he realizes anything is wrong. She doesn't try to meet his eyes, just concentrates harder on cutting up the tomato at hand.

He takes the knife out of her hand.

It takes a moment for her to look up at him and when she does, her eyes are red-rimmed.

"Hey," he coos, grabbing her chin as she plasters on a badly-acted smile. She searches his eyes a moment before her face drops and she presses her lips together to control her emotion.

He pulls her in his arms, and she tucks herself in as he kisses the top of her head. "I'm sorry," she whispers.

"For what?"

"I don't even know," she releases a single sob into his chest.

"Greg," is all he says, rubbing her back.

"I don't . . ., there's nothing . . .," she tries to relay.

"I know," he says, "I know."

"I love you, Rick, I could never hurt you that way."

"You are a beautiful woman, Kate, and I am never going to be okay sharing you with the world."

"Says the author of the Nikki Heat series," she pulls away to look in his eyes.

He laughs at her, brushing the hair out of her face. Cherishing her with each stroke.

"Seriously, Greg . . ."

"I'll be careful."

"How are you going to do that?"

"Hey, I kept you at bay for four years."

"Yes, but that was before you knew my skills. You would have succumbed so much sooner, had you realized . . ."

She cuts him off with a kiss, hard and desperate, with three days of pent up need behind it.

"Don't do that Kate," he says when they break, "or we will wind up wasting all this food."

She grabs his shirt, pulls him in closer, "your bed. Tonight."

"Tiger love, I like it. Now let me go woman."

When she does, he snatches her back up, surprising her, "your bed, too. Tonight."

She laughs and plants a quick peck on his lips before happily returning to their dinner preparations.

There are a lot of hip-bumps as they move around the tiny space.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

As it turns out, neither one of their beds was put to use. There is, however, a spot in front of the fireplace that has more emblazed in their memories this morning than just the sweet place to dance it started as.

"I'm so glad I'm the one that gets to see you naked," he tells her as they gather up the bed linens scattered on the floor the next morning.

She smiles up at him from under her lashes.

"Although I think we may have traumatized one of the black-suits."

She's alarmed, looks around, the sentinel at the front door is still standing there. Stoically.

She drops her voice conspiratorially, "Did he just . . . did we . . .?"

"Welcome to voyeurism, Detective," he pats her on the ass as he grabs the pillows from her hands.

They spend Saturday and Sunday with Alexis. Their tentative truce enforced in a few hands of poker, some animated discussions of several movies, and an incredibly aggressive series of board games.

When Alexis prepares to leave on Sunday night she hugs her dad fiercely, although she looks over his shoulder at Kate.

"Good luck at the trial, Kate. Bye, Dad."

He anchors them both, although, for now, they are separate ships.

"Nervous?" he prods Kate after the departure.

"Yeah," and neither is sure if the answer is about the trial or this new relationship.

"Woo-woooo," he wolf-whistles her down the stairs on her first day of testimony. She's got on one of the power-suits Langley brought her. It's dark charcoal and perfectly fitted to make her even more long and lean, he's never seen her more professionally scrumptious.

He falls on her neck the moment she finishes descending, "you smell good."

"Relax," she says pushing him away, "I didn't do this for you."

"I know, you don't do costumes."

"I don't do costumes, yet." She shows her teeth on that last 't,' emphasizing the word.

"My god," he feigns weak in the knees, grabbing the stair rail, "you are the perfect woman."

She laughs at him and heads to the coffee pot.

She doesn't want to, claims she can't, but he makes her eat some toast before handing her a long box.

"Got you something . . . for the trial."

Sheepishly she opens it, and finds a fairly non-descript chain, no charm or pendant attached. She looks at him questioning. He reaches out and finds the edge of her mother's chain on her neck, fishes it out of the front of the suit, re-stringing the ring on the new, much shorter chain. As he moves to put the new chain around her neck he quietly narrates.

"I think that you shouldn't hide this today. I think everyone should see it and know why you are there testifying."

He comes around to adjust the ring so it is visible above the line of her suit jacket. She fingers it and then then looks up at him, tears threatening.

"Now, go, . . . be tall."

They both laugh and she kisses him gently. "I love you, Richard Castle."

Xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Cole Maddox stares her down from the moment she's called to the stand. She can feel her heartbeat in her ears, and she feels like she is breathing harder than normal. After she's sworn in, she sees Greg Langley approaching, standing to block her view of Maddox, and she takes a deep breath.

"Detective Beckett, you work for the New York Police Department?"

"And you are a detective with the homicide division of the 12th precinct, correct?"

"Tell us about your service record."

He lobs easy questions at her to establish her credibility for about a twenty minutes before the kicker, "Something happened in May of 2011, could you describe that day for us?"

Just like they practiced, she tells about that day. Slowly, evenly, with a calm voice that belies the devastating scars that day left behind. The jury hears her describe the injury, her pain. She describes her hospitalization, rehabilitation, and reinstatement with the police force. Maddox's attorney, Rowe, objects on hearsay grounds when she relays that she died in the ambulance. He also objects to her use of the word 'sniper,' as a characterization of the person who shot her.

"Detective Beckett, why do you believe that you were shot that day?" Objection, speculative. Rephrase.

"Detective Beckett, were you involved in any investigations for which someone would want to make an attempt on your life?"

She's careful here, doesn't reveal her whole hand, only the pieces of the conspiracy, Coonan, Lockwood, what she knows about Montgomery, McCallister, and Raglan.

"Roy Montgomery, your captain at the 12th?"

"Yes."

"And what was your relationship with Captain Montgomery?"

"He was a mentor, a friend."

"Who gave the eulogy at his funeral?"

"I did."

"And how did he die?"

"He was shot, by Hal Lockwood."

"And how do you know this?"

"I was there when he was shot."

"Approach your honor!" Rowe yells.

Xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

They ushered her out of the courtroom and into this little meeting room half an hour ago. She can't help but slump over, head in hands. It's four o'clock and she's been on the stand since one. It's exhausting, far more than she thought, and to make it worse, she's just now realized how much more she has to explain.

She looks up as Greg slips into the room, joining the black-suit that seems to be her shadow. He actually followed her into the empty women's rest room earlier, much to her chagrin.

"We're done for the day," he says immediately, "you did good, Kate. You showed composure and you were believable."

"I'm believable because it's the truth."

"I know," Langley says, patting her hands. "Tomorrow, we'll pick up where we left off, but just so you know, Rowe and his team are pretty pissed that you were present at Roy's murder. Either they'll be scrambling to fix this on cross or they'll want to broker a plea bargain. In which case, we may get the name of the man giving the orders. Be ready at 7:30, the session will start at nine."

"Thank you, Greg," she slips her hands out from underneath his, a clear signal.

"Go home and rest, we have a long haul ahead of us, Kate."

Xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

It takes a ridiculous amount of time to get back to the loft, between tail-shaking routes and traffic, its hours, and she can't even call him because they don't want to take chances with tracking signals.

By 6:15 PM, he's frantic with worry. The black-suit at the door just keeps telling him no news is good news.

She walks in the door and he's all over her in a heartbeat. It's exactly what she needs.

He leads her to the couch and sits holding her hands, while she relays her day.

"I'm going to run you a hot bath and bring you some food, okay," he says hugging her. As he stands and pulls her up they hear it.

It sounds like hail tapping on the window and for all the world he thinks, _how strange_, until the black-suit at the door is diving on top of both of them and talking into space, "shots fired, shots fired."

A/N: I'm without internet this weekend, I'll post Monday


	14. Chapter 14

It's midnight before things get settled. There may be bullet-proof glass in the loft, but no one is comfortable. Castle caves to her paranoia, pulls the mattress off the futon in Alexis' room, sets it up on the floor of his walk-in closet. She doesn't want to sleep in a room with windows.

She sleeps so restlessly, tossing and turning, that she seems relieved when he finally drapes his weight over her, using her back as a pillow. Anchoring her.

It isn't nearly enough hours before the alarm rings.

They won't let him go with her. He's spent the whole time she's been getting dressed this morning demanding and then begging them to just let him ride in the car with her. He composes himself before she comes into the living room, a navy blue suit today, light blue shirt beneath the jacket, the ring showing within the v of the shirt. Her body looks beautiful but her face shows her exhaustion.

He's setting out their coffee and a plate of toast at the table, arm already strewn across the back of the chair he wants her to sit in. She slides right in, pecks his lips and sips her coffee.

"You didn't eat anything yesterday," he says.

"Yeah, too much excitement."

He strokes a hand across her hair, playing with the strands between his fingers. "You gonna be okay today?"

"Yeah, have to be, don't I? Otherwise they win." She turns to smile at him.

"The security detail says they figured out what building the shots were fired from, they're following up today."

"Good."

"Eat your toast," he smiles at her.

Langley is pissed this morning. Not only has he heard about the shots last night, he's miffed that the defense hasn't come to him to barter a plea.

"Jesus Kate, maybe I shouldn't have let Castle talk us into using his apartment. They obviously know where you are located. I'll look into another safe-house."

"No. Don't. I'd rather stay where things are familiar."

"Kate, this makes your security so much more difficult. You know that."

"Greg, I can only run so much. I just need to get this story out, get it on record. I haven't worked in months, I haven't seen my friends, my dad, I think I've sacrificed enough of my life for this thing. Let me just get it out there, and then, whatever happens, at least I know it's been worth it."

He considers her a moment.

"Brave, Kate, but stupid, you don't have to make yourself a target."

Her laugh is mirthless, "too late," and then she's up and headed for the restroom, followed by a black-suit, losing her breakfast.

oxoxoxxoxoxoxoxoxo

Langley confirms her relationship with Roy Montgomery, just to remind the jury. And then he asks her the same question he did yesterday:

"And how do you know he was shot by Hal Lockwood?"

"I was there."

"Can you explain the events of that night?"

Again, slowly, methodically he leads her down a line of questioning until the one she doesn't really want to answer:

"So it was just you and Roy Montgomery alone that night?"

"No."

"Someone else was with you?"

"My partner, Richard Castle."

"And did you arrive together?"

"No."

"Did you tell Mr. Castle to meet you there?"

"No, Roy Montgomery contacted him separately."

"Seems unusual that you wouldn't call Mr. Castle yourself." She knows this is a necessary line of questioning to refute the defense strategy.

"Mr. Castle and I were not in agreement about how to proceed with the case at the time, because he is a civilian, my view prevailed and I chose not to involve him when Roy called. Roy called Mr. Castle to ensure I'd have backup in that situation."

Even to her own ears, she knew that was the most optimistic view of their relationship she could tell without lying.

She described the events of the night in police-like precision, even as she relayed it, she could see the zipper of the body bag taking away her last image of Roy.

Greg Langley was handing her a tissue she didn't know she needed. As Langley moved, she had a clear shot of Cole Maddox. He was staring right through her.

She wasn't sure if it was her lack of sleep, her emotionalism, or genuine fear, but she suddenly felt very off-kilter. Everything about this situation felt so surreal. She really needed something to ground her.

The black-suits escorted her to the small room during the lunch break.

'Katie Beckett' was in Rick's handwriting across the plain brown bag, and she was shocked to see it. Inside, along with some cut-up fruit and oatmeal cookies, was a note.

_Just so you don't fall in love with some other coffee boy. Be tall. Love you, R._

She smiled and wondered how he'd managed to charm this black-suit into carrying around this silly bag. She slipped the note in her pocket. She missed him.

She was surprised to be awakened by Greg's hand on her shoulder. Embarrassed, she swiped at her mouth.

She spent the rest of the afternoon reviewing the details of the events and meaning between Roy's death and her own shooting, openly confessing the orders to her team to keep the information about Roy's activities out of the reports.

"How would you characterize your actions?"

"At the time, it seemed clear that there were officers involved in something larger, and I wasn't sure who we could trust with the information."

"But you knew there were proper channels to go through within the NYPD?"

"Yes."

"But you felt justified to take another course of action?"

"Yes, events since then have proven that to be a very necessary course of action."

"Events to which you can testify?"

"Events that my partner will testify to, information that pointed to a need for strict confidence."

Her exit from the building was rather circuitous, through the bowels of the old building, she was pushed the entire way to the car. The black-suit accompanying her had all the grace of a child handling a rag doll when he finally pushed her into the back seat of a non-descript sedan. She was home by six, although she wasn't sure they needed to keep up the charade that whoever was after her didn't know where she was staying.

They wound up leading her up the staircase back to the apartment, small brown bag clutched in her hand.

He was ready for her when she walked through the door.

"Hi," he embraces her and pecks her forehead.

"Hi," she smiles for the first time since this morning.

"Come with me," he pulls both her hands as he walks backward into his bedroom. The tub is full of bubbles and a glass of wine sits on the edge.

"Do I need to help you undress?"

She thinks a moment, eyeing him, "Yes?"

"That a question or a statement?"

"You decide."

He's pulling her out of her jacket and unzipping her skirt as she balances against the wall to kick off her shoes. She unclasps her necklace as he unbuttons her shirt. "We're such a good team," he murmurs as he pulls her underwear down her long legs.

He helps her in and kisses her as soon as she sits down in the water, "join me," she whispers, fisting his shirt as he pulls away.

"Nope, I'm bringing you real food. Do not pass out in here."

"Ummhmm," is her only response as she closes her eyes, sinking back.

Twenty minutes later, he is loath to wake her when he finds her drooling, head rolled to one side. She hasn't even touched the wine. She's adorable. He decides to leave her for another ten minutes, maybe she's tired enough to not care about sleeping on that futon mattress in the closet.

Greg Langley is standing in his living room when Castle comes out.

"Kate around?" he asks uncomfortably.

He's tempted by the smart-ass answer but thinks better of it. "She's asleep." _Naked. In my bathtub._

"Look, I came by to tell you about the investigation into last night's incident."

"And . . ."

"And I think we need to move Kate to a safer location."

"What did you find out?" both men turn to see Kate wrapped in a long robe.

"Enough information to make me think you may not get your whole story out."

The man clearly has information. She sees him shift from foot to foot in decision.

"What?" she's determined, "What aren't you telling us?"

"Word's out, there is a contract out on you, Kate," Langley looks genuinely sorry.

"How much?" she swallows.

When he hesitates, she's insistent, "HOW MUCH?"

"Kate," Castle warns.

"One hundred thousand."

"Shit," she hears Castle say under his breath.

The room goes silent.

"Nail him Langley, trace the damn source, and nail the bastard," she's got that grit about her voice that scares him every time. It might as well be the whistle on a train, once she's using it, there's no changing her mind.

"We're trying, Kate."

"You know what? Don't fuckin' try, _do_ it." She's staring him down.

Langley straightens his neck, eyes her, and dares to say, "We're moving you to a safe-house while we investigate."

"No."

"Look, if you expect us to take this guy down, you need to cooperate with the plan."

She scoffs, "I need to cooperate? What the hell do you think I've been doing for the last six months?"

"Kate," Castle tries.

"No, no, I'm tired, I can't do this investigation on my own, but I'll tell you what I can do, I can shut up. That I can do. You jerk me around and that's the end of my testimony."

Castle stares between the two law enforcement officers, the atmosphere in the room is explosive.

Langley's face tightens, before sweeping out the door, "I can see you are too tired to be reasonable tonight. Be ready at 7:30."

She's stands rigid, arms-crossed, biting her bottom lip.

"Kate," he pleads, "just hear me out, okay? It would not be a weakness for us to move to a different safe-house."

Before she turns away he can see that face she makes when she's holding it all in. The tidal wave of emotion. But she stoically walks away. He hears the bedroom door click closed.

oxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

Hours later he decides to risk it, if he can help it, she isn't sleeping alone tonight. He finds her curled up in the fetal position on the futon mattress in the closet, she isn't asleep, but she does have the empty wine glass from earlier curled in with her. He takes it out of her hand before silently slipping in behind her, spreading the blanket over both of them.


	15. Chapter 15

She had such a headache this morning, she could barely lift her head from the pillow when the alarm rang. Stumbled through her routine, taking three pain relievers before exiting the bathroom.

She can see him sitting at the table waiting for her. Always waiting for her. She hates that she can't seem to be wherever he is. She wonders if she will always be the one responding to his sweetness, drawing on his strength and never the other way around. She really wants to stay with him this morning, rest her head against his chest for a while. But she needs to get this out, get this thing over with, it's the best she can do for herself, for him.

"Morning," he says.

"Morning," she says approaching, she moves the chair he's got his arm around, the one he's expecting her to sit in. She sees he's a little afraid that she's somehow moving away from him, rejecting him. But then she wedges herself between the table and his chest to sit sideways on his lap, wrap her arms around his shoulders and taps her forehead to his.

He sighs and tightens his arms around her.

"Sorry," she whispers.

"'S'okay," he says, rubbing her back.

"I'm so tired."

"I know, if you would eat something, you could probably take a sleeping pill tonight."

She reaches for her coffee, "right now I need to wake up, long day ahead."

xoxoxxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

She doesn't see Greg again until she's on the stand. He's more detached than any other encounter they've had.

Once the preliminaries are over, he dives in:

"Can you tell us about a break-in at Roy Montgomery's residence earlier this spring?"

She carefully relays the details of the investigation of death of a thief in Roy's house, how she traced it to a surveilled meeting with the defendant.

"And can you identify the man on the video?"

"He's in the courtroom," Greg moves from the spot that blocks her view of Maddox, she points at him, "Cole Maddox."

And then Cole Maddox winks at her.

Her face falls and she misses whatever Greg is saying, glancing around the courtroom. This guy is way too cocky, given the details she's revealing. Suddenly she's alert, she knows this feeling, she felt it at Hal Lockwood's trial. And she realizes Greg's asked her a question, only she has no idea what it was.

"Detective Beckett?"

"Yes, I'm sorry, can you repeat the question?"

He looks hard at her and then turns to the judge, "perhaps now would be a good time to ask for a brief recess, Your Honor?"

She's startled by the judge pounding his gavel, "let's take lunch, recess until one o'clock."

oxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

No little brown bag from him for lunch today, instead they bring her some greasy burger and fries which churn her stomach just to look at, she asks for coffee instead and a cup of stale coffee is thrust in front of her five minutes before she's supposed to reappear on the stand.

She has a really bad feeling, but she's certain it's not because of the coffee.

She finishes the day with that feeling, testifying about her team's work to connect Cole Maddox with the car rental agency. What she's found in Maddox's hotel room and the chase that's led to the roof-top fight. She hasn't relayed his assault on her, yet. The assault for which he will never be charged, since Greg's already told her without her seeking medical treatment, they can't prove assault on police officer.

Once again the trial closes on her testimony and she's anxious to get home. They make her wait an extra hour in the little room. She's annoyed. She knows they have to vary things to keep her safe, but this is just exasperating.

Now there are two black-suits escorting her, she's sandwiched between them in her black suit too. The difference is that they are actually holding her upper arms, one on each side. It's beginning to feel uncomfortable. When they pass by Greg Langley in the hall, his words escalate her from uncomfortable to damn-near terrified.

"I'm sorry, Kate."

"What? What?" she's yelling over her shoulder. In moments they are shoving her into the car and speeding off.

"I demand to know what is going on," she's practically shouting from the back seat, but they aren't answering her. When they pull into a non-descript parking garage, she refuses to get out of the car.

"Get out of the car, Ms. Beckett, or I will carry you out," the black-suit finally speaks.

She can't take them, she thinks defeatedly, and they lead her up some stairs and down a hall to a tiny apartment. Greg Langley is seated at the two-chair kitchen table.

"What the hell is going on?" She refuses to sit when he motions. He shrugs his shoulders and starts.

"I can't take the chance, Kate. The chance that you won't make it through this trial. We need your testimony to win this case, and I'm not going to risk your life, even if you are willing to. You are in federal custody, which means you agreed to testify in exchange for our protection."

"You'll do anything to win, won't you Greg?" she says smugly, "but you forget, I don't have to testify . . ."

He cuts her off, "if you want to see Castle, you'll testify."

She stares at him a moment, sucking in a breath.

"He's a federal witness now too, Kate."

Her stare turns icy, she's just now realized how helpless she really is.

"Fine, Greg, bring him here, let us stay together, and I'll testify like we've discussed."

"Testify first, and we'll see."

"I have done EVERYTHING you asked . . ." but he's cutting her off again.

"This doesn't interest me, Kate. Be ready at 7:30 tomorrow morning."

She's lost.

Goodnight," he pauses at the door.

"Fuck you, Greg."

xoxoxoxoxooxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

She aches for him, tosses and turns, keeps waking up, reaching for him. She wakes to the sound of one of the black-suits calling her name. There's no indication of time in this windowless apartment, although the clock in the kitchen says it's already 7:15.

"Fifteen minutes, Ms. Beckett," he calls from the door. She's slept in her underwear, and briefly contemplates what would happen if she just refused to get dressed. She does the best she can with what she finds, pulling her messy hair into a quick chignon, seeing another gray suit hanging in the closet.

"Now, Ms. Beckett."

She's leaving without coffee and starting another day without real food.

oxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

It catches up to her two hours into the discussion of the fight on the roof. Greg asks her details on her own training in hand-to-hand combat, her own personal sparring routines, assessments of Maddox's abilities, her injuries after, his words to her and what she infers they mean. It's eleven o'clock when they call for an approach to the bench, leading to a discussion in the judge's chambers. She's led off the stand and into a conference room closer to the chambers. One major difference between this room and the one she's waited in before, there's a conference phone sitting in the middle of the table. She doesn't hesitate snatching up the receiver.

"Ms. Beckett," comes the warning from the black-suit.

"Please," she begs, "what is there to trace? You know who I'm calling, you know they know where I am, where he is, just a minute?"

And then she pathetically adds, "please."

He looks uncomfortable.

"Please, less than a minute," she repeats.

His nod is almost imperceptible, and she quickly dials his home phone. The black-suit can only hear one side.

"It's me."

She's immediately emotional at whatever is said to her.

"They tell you about it?"

"He's a bastard."

"Yeah, just stuff about Maddox, you don't need to hear."

"I can't sleep without you."

"I don't know, haven't started cross yet."

"I know, but I need you." She's openly crying, between sobs, whispering.

"I love you. I love you. I love you."

The black-suit hits the button, disconnecting the line.

oxoxoxxoxoxoxxoxoxooxoxo

Greg's annoyed that she's disheveled in front of the judge. There's some debate over her ability to assess Cole Maddox's fighting ability. The defense is trying to make the case that Maddox is not this soldier of fortune, gun for hire. Judge Felty is grandfatherly-looking. He asks her in front of both legal teams, questions about her physical training, and then the question turns personal.

"Detective Beckett are you quite well?"


	16. Chapter 16

By Friday at lunch, Greg thinks he's covered everything he needs from her to lay out the prosecution side of the case. Cross is going to happen first thing on Monday and he has some testimony to review with her after she is escorted to the safe-house.

She half-heartedly cooperates as they review potential questions sitting at the small table. After an hour he grows exasperated with her inability to remember the things he's cueing her on.

"Come on, Kate. Think. If you answer these questions this way they are going to use it as an opening to do damage to the case."

"What do you want from me? I'm doing the best I can here. I want the same things you want, Greg."

"I don't think you do, Kate. I think you aren't focused."

"Yeah, well you know what you could do to help that," she says, crossing her arms.

He ponders her a moment, before raising his chin.

"Really Kate? You just need a good fuck and that will cure you?"

She throws him a disgusted look before turning her head.

He drops his voice, "you know I could help you out if that's all you need." He runs his finger over her knee.

She's bloodied his nose before he knows what's happened.

"Shit," he cries out, reaching for a kitchen towel.

She's standing over him in a fighting stance while he cowers in his chair, his leg lifted in defense, holding his nose.

"I want to go home, you make that happen, Greg." She's pointing a finger at him.

"Look, Kate, I'm sorry. I'm really not that guy. Okay?" He's sincere, he holds up both hands.

"I swear to god, Greg, I am not the criminal here, I've lost so much, you can give me this little bit. Please."

He moves to rinse the evidence from his face and hands in the kitchen sink and turns back to her, "Monday morning, Kate. Be ready at 7:30," and he's out the door.

She's going stir-crazy, by ten in the morning on Saturday, she's used the tiny space in the three room apartment to do some yoga, take a shower, and make a batch of scrambled eggs that are tasteless in her mouth. She really, really wants to run. Her thoughts are everywhere and nowhere at once and it's frightening. She really fears for her own sanity.

The plants in her apartment. Her dad. The food in the refrigerator. Rick. Her murderboard. Lanie. Rick. Ryan. The last book she read. Walking on that beach in The Bahamas. Maya. Rick. Evelyn Montgomery. Esposito and the gun that shot her.

It's sick and she knows it, these swirling thoughts. They won't leave her alone, won't give her peace. She finds cleaning products under the sink and attacks the small apartment leaving no space untouched. It helps enough to sleep on Saturday night. Sunday greets her with dread.

One of the black-suits takes pity on her, leaves her a novel, _Life of Pi_. She identifies with the insanity of the situation, the protagonist is trapped on a small boat, adrift on the sea, with a tiger. She reads it in one sitting.

xoxoxoxoxoxxoxoxoxoxoxo

"You've testified that Roy Montgomery was something of a mentor?"

"Yes."

"So he counseled you on your cases, made sure you were on the right track?"

She sees where this is going.

"Sometimes."

"Not all the time?"

"No."

"During the case involving your mother, Johanna Beckett, did Roy Montgomery mentor you through that case?"

"He advised me."

"How?"

It goes on like this for hours, second guessing anything Roy ever said to her about her mother's case. Until a brutally final statement.

"So would you say that given Roy Montgomery's participation in those crimes, he would want to keep any one who knew about them quiet?"

It strikes her as odd, the way they haven't changed strategy, she knows they must know by now that this isn't going to work. No way did Roy order the hit on her. On top of that, how does this change Cole Maddox's guilt?

"Roy would never hurt me."

"Answer the question, Detective, would Roy Montgomery want to keep someone quiet who knew about his crimes?"

"Roy Montgomery was a changed man, he . . ."

"Your Honor?" Rowe interrupts.

"Detective Beckett, please answer the question as presented," the judge orders.

She's frustrated now, takes a deep breath, glances at Langley, who is considering her.

"Once again, Detective, would Roy Montgomery want to keep someone quiet who knew about his crimes?"

"Yes, I suppose he would," bitterness oozing from her words.

oxoxoxoxoxxoxoxoxoxo

She spends the night alone, again, thinking about Roy, wondering what he would have done if she hadn't dug up her mother's case. He could have retired, left the whole mess. If the boys hadn't found that picture of McCallister, Raglan and Montgomery. The boys. She wonders about them. The feelings she had for Roy were feelings she has for them, family. And now, it's been so long, she's been in this limbo for so long trying to get back, maybe she never will.

It makes her sick.

Rowe's been grilling her for hours about her actions with Montgomery.

"Let me make sure I fully understand your actions, Detective Beckett, you, as a trained law enforcement officer, left a fellow officer in danger?"

The hangar, Roy's last stand.

Castle's arms, not gentle and caressing, like she's known them since, but clenching, desperate. A vice.

She can't breathe at the thought.

"I . . ." she can't finish it, she doesn't know how to end the sentence.

"Your Honor?" Rowe complains after the third time he's pressed into her for an answer.

"Detective Beckett . . ."

But she's standing, like she's going to leave, only she doesn't take more than a step, when she hears the room gasp collectively and she feels her head hit the floor.


	17. Chapter 17

"Really, Greg, you're an idiot," she hears a familiar voice, can't quite grasp who it is, her head is still foggy.

"You coming to, baby girl?" She feels a hand stroke her forehead.

Maya.

"Where am I?"

"Still at the courthouse, Greg called me, thought I might be able to help. You, my dear girl, have not been doing what I asked, not enough food, not enough sleep, but don't you worry," Maya strokes her hair, "we'll get you fixed right up."

She's shining a light in Kate's gently lifted lids.

"What happened?" Kate looks around, she's on a couch, IV needle sticking in her arm.

"You remember being on the stand? You got a little confused and fainted. Don't worry, those pricks can wait until you are well enough to hear what you've got to say, okay?"

"You're dehydrated and your blood pressure is too low. Probably why you passed out." She's ripping the cuff off Kate's arm.

"Look at how thin you are, Katie. Is Rick not feeding you?"

She swallows hard, "they won't let me see him."

Maya regards the younger woman for a moment, but says nothing.

"Close your eyes and rest, I think you're done for the day, honey, I'll see about getting someone to take you home."

Kate grabs the older woman's forearm as she stands to leave, "don't make me go back there alone, please, Maya."

"Let me see what I can do, Kate."

oxooxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

"I knew you were an idiot, but I didn't think you were cruel," she spits, "that woman has been through hell and now you're pulling a power play? Really, Greg, it's beneath you."

"Jesus, Maya, you have no idea what is at stake here, that woman has a price on her head, and this case is the key to catching a much bigger prize."

"Everything is a prize with you? What are you trying to win by separating her from her partner?"

"I'm winning this case Maya. Now clear her so I can get on with it."

"Absolutely not. You'll run her into the ground like this. She can't stay alone and I'm not releasing her as a patient until I know she's okay."

"So what are you saying?"

"I'm pulling my trump card, I can't make you do anything Greg, but I can keep her under my care as a person at risk. I'll need to see her daily to assess her health. Or . . ."

"Oh god, what? What's your big 'or,' Maya?"

"Let her see Castle, there's no reason they should be apart."

"I beg to differ, the woman has a bounty on her head and doesn't seem to have a sense of her own need for safety, like you said, she's 'at risk.' I let her hunker down with Castle and suddenly she's making demands in exchange for testimony. She needs to finish her testimony and then, when he's done on the stand, they can go on their merry way."

"Greg, you know how long that can take. Be reasonable. And if you push her? What happened today was a warning, Greg. You don't want to see what happens next. She's exhausted, this is exactly why you called me in on this the first time."

"Then you stay with her Maya, you fix her so she can finish on that stand."

Maya's horrified at Kate's current living conditions. The sterile living room holds only a couch and television. The florescent lighting in the too-white kitchen, with its tiny table and two chairs, is blinding. It doesn't need to lack windows to scream prison cell.

One of the black-suits pulls her carry-on into the space and resumes his stance just inside the door.

"Kate, how long have you been here?"

She watches the woman think a little too hard about the question. "Ten days, I think."

Maya insists that she sit on the couch, she's hoping to get a second bag of IV fluids into the woman before bed.

Maya takes the opportunity to go through the kitchen. She's appalled to find nothing of nutritious value, a loaf of white bread is untouched on the refrigerator shelf, next to a carton of milk that is close to expiration. Spaghetti sauce and canned food make up the rest of the stock. The only box of food she can see has been opened is a container of instant coffee.

"No more caffeine," she calls from the kitchen.

"Ha! Try and stop me," she hears the woman reply.

She finds a pad and pen in her bag and sits next to Kate on the couch.

She doesn't know how, but Maya's been with her all day today. Somehow she's slept better just knowing the woman was on the pull-out couch in the living room. She's actually up and dressed and already eaten when they come for her this morning. Maya rides with her, eats lunch with her, and rides back to the safe-house. Her life suddenly feels very desperate, to have come down to such luxuries as talking with a friend.

Someone has stocked the kitchen with fresh food. Castle would say elves, but Kate's certain that Maya has insisted to someone.

"Tough day?" Maya asks over the salad, loaded with chicken, vegetables, dried fruit, and nuts.

"Reliving my shooting today." Uh, even in her own ears, it sounds harsh. She's glad she doesn't have to say this to Castle.

"That can't have been easy." They've never discussed it, but Maya's seen the bullet wound on Kate's chest, she knows what it is.

"Bittersweet," Kate says taking another bite.

Maya gives her a questioning look.

Kate stops, drops her fork a little. "That was the first time Rick told me he loved me."

"Oh," is all Maya can say, she can only imagine.

"Took me a year to recover enough to say it back to him."

"Wow. Quite a story."

"I miss him Maya. They let me talk to him on the phone one time, that's all."

"You'll see him soon, honey. I'm sure, but in the mean-time, I brought you something." She jumps up and goes into the living room.

She hands over a small white envelope, inside are pictures from their time at the safe-house in South Carolina. A lot of them are candid shots of Castle and her. The first one takes her breath away.

It's the two of them in the ocean.

He's got his arms around her, water up to their calves, the sun setting, her back pressing into his chest. She knows exactly what was said in that moment, can still hear his whisper in her ear, "See Kate, we can dive into it together."

She flips to the next one, they are sitting next to each other on a picnic bench, eating ice cream, she's dabbing at his chin with a napkin.

He's intent at his computer in the next one, she knows he's writing a Nikki scene.

He's at the grill, showing off his self-proclaimed, 'mad-flipping skills' on a burger, she's standing next to him holding an empty plate, with a scowl on her face, exasperated. She knows that in the second after this one was taken that burger was on the ground, and she was laughing at him.

In the next one she's asleep, drooling on his shoulder as he plays on his iPad, she'd been soaking wet from the pool when she lay down on his back and then he'd just let her stay that way.

"Can I have a copy of these?"

"No, you can have these, I brought them for you, honey. I figured you might want something to remind you of happier times."

She grins at her friend, "Maya, I don't even know how to thank you."


	18. Chapter 18

Kate gets through the next three days holding the picture of them at the beach. She tucks it in her suit pocket when she's on the stand, fingers it discretely when she needs to. She eats well with Maya around, loves their evening chats over a glass of wine. Somehow Maya's smuggled her a stack of books, "for the weekend," she says.

And Kate knows that means she'll be alone in this dreariness and that makes Friday more difficult. Maybe that's why she says more than she should when the Rowe asks her about her relationships with all the members of her team, when he gets to Castle, he brings up the Nikki Heat books.

"Being featured in a nationally published book ever make you a target of unwanted attention, Detective Beckett?" She can't remember the name of this partner defense attorney, wonders why Rowe isn't asking the questions right now.

_Scott Dunn_, the psychopath that went after Nikki Heat, and her by extension, goes through her head.

"Yes."

"Was your life in danger from such attention?"

"Yes."

"Tell us about it."

When she relays the details, he nails her with the last question, "So is it possible that there are other fans of Mr. Castle's books that may want to cause you harm?"

_Damn_. She's going to have to answer this honestly, even though it continues to allow openings for doubt in the jury's mind. She's helping them win.

oxoxoxoxoxoxox

The weekend is going to kill her. She's only been up for two hours and she has no idea what to do with herself. The cycle is repeating itself, she's in her own head, reliving a million random snippets of her life, a thousand insecurities, a hundred regrets, and one writer.

She's standing at the sink pouring the last of the liquid in the mug down the drain and reviewing a thought she'd love to share with Castle –' all criminals should be forced to drink instant coffee,' when the door opens.

He's standing there.

With two cups of coffee in his hands.

She stares at him like she can't quite believe her own eyes.

He sets down both cups of coffee and catches her as she drapes herself over him, choking on her emotion. Castle doesn't wait to take her mouth, drinking her in, desperate and needy. She can't breathe. He half-holds, half-drags her through the living room and into the bedroom. Has the waist-band of her yoga pants in his hands as he pushes her back on the bed. She's already unbuckled his belt and he pushes her hands away, takes care of his pants himself, kicking off his shoes in the process.

He's all over her, hands everywhere, roaming her body like it's their first time.

"Kate," he says her name with adoration as he slows things down, cradling her shoulders in his hands.

"Make love to me, Rick. Make me forget."

oxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxxo

He's brought their coffees into bed.

"I cannot love you more than I do in this moment," she says, leaning her head against his propped chest.

"Secret to my sexy powers, I finish with coffee." He strokes her hip.

"How are you here, Castle?" Her voice barely a whisper.

"I don't know Kate, one of the black-suits just told me to get ready this morning and they brought me here."

"Are you staying? Can I go home with you?"

"I don't know, Kate. I don't know. I don't know." Desperation in his voice, he kisses the top of her head, "but let's not get out of bed until they make us, okay?" His voice cracks.

oxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

"Mr. Castle?" one of the black-suits calls from the hall, "time to go." Six hours.

Six hours was all they gave them.

"No," he says, "I'm not leaving," his hold on her tightens.

"Mr. Castle, we have orders, it is time to go, if we have to drag you out, this kind of visit won't happen again."

They are so screwed.

He makes her stay in bed while he dresses. He's afraid she'll follow him, make a scene if he doesn't say their goodbyes in the bedroom. When he's ready he leans over her, presses his forehead to hers, breathes her in.

"Close your eyes," he encourages her, and when she does he kisses each lid, "you can just pretend I ran out to get us more coffee." And then, like a dream, he's gone.

It strengthens her, gives her something to think about, enough to push through until Monday.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

On Monday, Greg Langley, Federal Prosecutor, isn't in court and neither is Rowe as defense counsel. She wonders about that, but the nameless co-counsel spend the day asking her questions about any criminal from her past that could have sought her death. It's a little discouraging to realize how many possible suspects there are.

During a late-afternoon recess, Langley follows her from the courtroom and tells her he has some serious news. Shortly after, the judge dismisses the jury for the day.

oxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

"He wants a deal, Kate."

Any alertness she had being alone with Langley after the last time, melts with his words.

"He'll testify if we drop the case, set him up somewhere outside the country."

_Oh God, he could . . ._

"Kate, this is serious, he could give us the name of the person behind all this."

_Shit. Could this really happen?_ She's hyperventilating.

"It isn't justice for you, for your shooting, but it's the bigger fish, Kate."

She bites her lip. _Doesn't matter . . .doesn't matter. . ._

"Kate?"

She nods, growing more determined, "Make the deal, Greg, whatever it takes to get this guy, make the deal."

He smiles at her.

Yeah, they both want the same thing.

Tuesday feels like a waste of time. The wrap-up of questions, in what feels like an eternity of cross examination, is anticlimactic. There's a part of her that is tapping her foot, leg-shaking, finger twisting, but all on the inside. She needs this thing done. Although the next words from the defense table are music to her ears.

"I think we're done with this witness, Your Honor."

And with that un-ceremonial dismissal she is free.

"Permission to recall at a later time, Your Honor?"

Almost.

oxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

She has nowhere to be tomorrow.

The elves have left a bottle of wine on the kitchen table, which she opens immediately. She has to use a juice glass to drink it, in one of the two chairs, at the little table, in this tiny apartment.

She leans back and closes her eyes.

oxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Two days with no visitors, nothing but a silent sentinel at the door. She has a stack of old magazines and books that appeared on the table at the courthouse, and she's leafed through all of them, catching up on the world outside that she's missed.

"Ms. Beckett, we need to go."

"What?"

"Langley is calling for you."

_Oh, God, the name. Langley's got the name._

She scrambles to get dressed, a natural smile lighting her face.

Xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

She steps off the elevator and the immediate buzz around the open area of the offices is disturbingly fast and ominous. Snatches of conversation, serious faces, and her smile is feeling out of place.

"No comment," a woman says tightly as she's escorted past grey cubicles of animated people.

" . . . FBI will want to question . . ."

The slamming of a door.

She can see Greg in a chair in front of the desk, hunched over. He's got one hand on the back of his own neck and another wrapped around a high-ball glass. The black-suit pushes the door open fully and as she steps into the room she sees Greg's drinking companion.

Castle.


	19. Chapter 19

A/N: sorry about the chapter 18 confusion, I left off the very last section when I first published it on ffnet, if you read directly from a story/author alert link you may not have gotten that piece. Thank you so much for all the reviews on this story, they have made my day!

He already has an empty chair beside him, waiting for her. She doesn't want anything to do with it, falls to her knees in front of him, her eyes full of concern.

"What? What is going on?"

He sets his glass down as she searches for answers in his face. He gently takes her hands off his knees and lifts her to standing, maneuvers her into the chair next to him.

"Please," she's begging, won't let go of his hands, "please, you're scaring me."

He takes a breath.

"Kate . . ." he's struggling to get the words out, "Kate, he's dead. Maddox is dead."

She doesn't believe, not really. It can't be this simple. Turns to Langley, "he gave you the name?"

For the first time, Greg Langley has nothing to say.

Kate stands, pulls her hands from Castle's, steps around him and closer to Langley. Castle closes his eyes, he knows what's next.

"Greg, tell me, . . . tell me the name." She whispers, strangling her fear.

"Kate, I'm sorry." Greg is defeated.

"You didn't get a name?" She says in disbelief, "We don't have a name?" She cries, her rising voice uncontrollable, "All this time? All this . . . TELL ME." She's moved to push on Langley's shoulders, surprising him. She grabs at his collar, shaking him violently, forcing him to finally look at her, "TELL ME."

And then Castle has his arms around her, a tight vice around her arms and waist. She kicks, straining out her grief, "TELL ME HIS NAME."

She bends over his arms, offsetting his balance, forcing him to lower her to the floor, his arms never releasing his grip.

"TELL ME," she screams out her grief to the universe and it's the final effort before the tears come, hot and overwhelming. She can't breathe.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxooxoxo

He so desperately wants to take her pain. How many more times can she come this close and be disappointed? How much more can she sacrifice? All he can do is hold her while she falls.

He hasn't let go of her, presses his body against hers for the entire ride back to his apartment. There had been no argument, she will not be returning to her former living arrangement. He supports her body in the walk up the stairs, the entire journey silent save the one sentence she says without looking at the black-suit stationed outside his front door.

"I need my pictures from the safe house."

He strips her of her coat as she steps out of her shoes. Maneuvers her to the bedroom, turns her and lays her on the bed, a hand behind her neck to ease her down before he unbuttons and pulls her out of her jeans. She lays, staring at the ceiling, while he pulls her sweater and shirt over her head. Leaves her a moment, comes back with one of her shirts.

She sits up and he tries to push it over her head, but she sets a hand on his cheek, looks into his eyes. Kate's eyes flicker to his lips and she moves to kiss him slowly, her hands holding his head. She pulls him over her and he slides his hands down the sides of her body, even as she spreads her legs to wrap around him.

Her kiss is long and sweet, adoring him, a little desperate, very loyal. He feels her scratching at his scalp, smoothing her hands over his back, rucking up his shirt to feel his skin under her fingers. He pulls back, gaging her, searching her eyes. She works his buttons, steadily gazing into his eyes. He knows then.

She needs their intimacy to tether her, she needs him.

oxoxoxoxoxooxoxoxoxoxox

She isn't interested in leaving their bed. She takes a shower, brushes her teeth then puts on pajamas and lies back down.

He brings them coffee and crawls in beside her, wrapping himself around her as they lean against the headboard.

"Kate, I think . . ."

She puts her coffee-warmed fingers to his lips, "shhh . . . just hold me."

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Greg Langley sends some kid to talk with them the next day. He wonders if it's because he's humiliated, or because he's an ass that he doesn't come by himself.

The kid tells them it's over.

He tells them the resources they are now using are needed in other places.

And then he says he's sorry.

When he leaves she opens the first conversation they've had since coming home. "We are never going to get our lives back, are we?"

He rubs her back as they stand in the middle of the living room. "I'll take you away from here, we'll go fugitive, live in a hut by the ocean, I'll hunt and gather."

"Huh, never saw myself starving to death," she smiles at him, he's missed this version of her, he can play, this part of their relationship is comfortingly familiar.

"You haven't heard the best part, Kate."

"Hmm, what's that?" she's tracing his lower lip with her finger.

"You'll be naked."

"Ha," she laughs dryly, swatting him, "how is it that in the middle of all this you can make me laugh?"

He shrugs his shoulders, "It's a gift."

"You're a gift," she kisses him. And he takes a moment to look into her eyes.

"I've been thinking," he says, "you're right, we don't have a chance if we let this be the way things end."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, what are we going to do? Run forever? I think maybe we need to do some investigating on our own, try to end this thing another way. Maddox was obviously killed because whoever is behind this found out he was going to talk. There has to be some way to trace this back. Who hired Maddox's lawyers? They obviously broke attorney-client privilege; why else would they kill him now, without waiting for the trial outcome?"

She's watching a familiar look come over his face. He's working on building theory. This she can do.

"Does beg the question, 'How did they know Maddox was about to give us the name?"

"We need to talk to those attorneys."

xoxoxoxoxoxxoxoxoxoxox

"What the hell happened?" Esposito sits across from them at the dining room table, his face a mask of anger.

"Mystery shanking while being transferred to Administrative Segregation," she says flatly, "obviously whoever is behind whole thing has reach, somehow he knew Maddox was about to spill his guts."

"One of the attorneys?" Ryan adds.

"That's what we need you guys for, help us run checks at the prison, who was paid off? How?"

"It's like Lockwood all over again." Esposito shoots Ryan a look at that comment.

"Right, only now we start with the financials, figure out who just got paid, who needed the money? Who didn't show up for work today? Can you do that?"

"Come on, you know we'd do anything for you." Ryan smiles sweetly.

"In the meantime, Castle and I are going to go visit the defense counsel offices."

oxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

"Ms. Beckett," Lindstrom Rowe greets her, his face not masking his wariness, "I'm surprised to see you here."

Castle isn't sure how to interpret that, but he's not interested in being jerked around by any high price prick attorney.

"I answered your questions, now you can answer a few for me," Beckett has her cop face on.

"My client is dead, the case is over, I can't imagine how I can help you now."

"Who hired you?"

"Excuse me?"

"Who hired you to represent Cole Maddox?"

Rowe leans back in his chair, his fingers coming together, "I'm afraid that's privileged information, Ms. Beckett."

"As you said, your client is dead, I don't think there's any privilege here," there's a coldness in Castle's voice that Beckett rarely hears.

Rowe hesitates, the wheels turning in his head are obvious on his face.

Beckett nudges forward in her chair, drops her voice, "aren't you afraid of who's next? Everyone on this case is dead, everyone. I'm only hanging on by a thread and you think he won't come after you next?"

Rowe visible swallows.

"You think anyone's going to come to your rescue when you just called into question every investigation surrounding this mystery person? You think anyone wants to stop a hit on a defense attorney?" Castle shifts uncomfortably with the Beckett. This is the one who's lost it on suspects before over this case. It makes him uneasy. He needs to soften it.

"Just give us a name, something to work with, if this guy goes to prison, then we all have a shot at the lives we want."

"Mr. Rowe?" She prods after an interminable silence.

"I'm sorry," he resolves, "I don't think I can help you."

oxoxoxoxoxoxoxxoxoxoxoxoxo

They spent less than a half-hour in Rowe's office before he's escorting them out and closing the door behind them. The receptionist is a pretty twenty-something and Castle plasters on a smile to engage her.

"That Mr. Rowe, quite an intimidating man," he says turning to her, his voice thick with false admiration, "must be hard to work for him."

"Oh no," the young woman smiles sweetly, "he's really quite sweet."

Castle grins inwardly, _gotcha._

oxoxooxxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Castle's got the girl fetching him coffee in some break room around the corner as she slips into search mode on the woman's desk. An on-line appointment calendar is up on the desk top of the computer, but under it, in a smaller window is something labeled, Elite.

Elite turns out to be 'America's Premier Law Office Management Software.'

She quickly types in 'Maddox' and a file search starts. She can hear the woman laughing over something Castle has said. She takes a moment to glance at Rowe's frosted glass office window, suddenly wondering if he is on the phone. He could be talking to the dragon right now for all she knows.

There's the sound of group laughter as a door to a nearby conference room opens and a slew of people exit, none of them come her direction.

The screen blinks and a file appears, but she can't make heads or tails of it. Doesn't see any names. Damn. But there is another place to click, _billing_.

She catches a glimpse at the screen before she hears the woman behind her.

"Hey, what are you doing?"


	20. Chapter 20

Before she knows it, Castle has her hand, yanking her out of the chair and past the startled receptionist. They use the emergency exit stairs, climb down a few floors, exit and follow a janitor into the service elevator, headed for the street.

And then it hits him.

"Are we really running from a law-firm receptionist?" He huffs out, catching his breath.

"This ruin your view of me as a bad-ass detective?" She's out of breath, too.

"Well, not _this,_" he pecks her mouth just as the elevator opens.

She's on his iPad the minute they're in the car, looking up Univan-Kompas, Inc. She has no idea what to expect, but what pops up is completely ambiguous. She needs background on this company, and why they are listed as the billing address for Cole Maddox.

"Let's go to the 12th, " she says absently, as though they've been to their second home in the nearly seventh months they've been on the run. It should have been sobering except that he's singing under his breath as he wiggles his neck and shoulders with attitude.

"Driving to the twelfth," he looks over to see her roller her eyes, risks continuing, "badass girlfriend ridin' shotgun."

"One of those things is not going to be true if you keep it up."

oxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

"Detective Beckett!" Gates looks happy to see her, and then she frowns, "and Mr. Castle."

"Nice to see you Captain," she replies for both of them.

"I'm surprised you don't have an entourage, Detective," Gates eyes the elevator behind her.

"They pulled the detail this morning when we wanted to leave."

"I'm not sure that was your smartest move, given the circumstances."

"I'm all in at this point, I've got to try to end this thing another way, we could really use the department resources."

"Of course, anything we can do to help."

"My team?"

"Anything you need."

It feels like old times as the four of them sit around the conference table comparing notes and eating Chinese food. Castle is going through prison employee financial records while Beckett and Ryan huddle over a laptop screen trying to trace Univan-Kompas, Inc. He reminds her of his presence from across the table, a socked foot running up the cuff of her dress pants, she smirks at him.

"According to this," Ryan draws her back, "they only list members of the board." She scans the screen using her finger. "Robert Norris?"

"Name ring a bell?" Ryan asks.

"Jordan Norris?" Kate thinks aloud, "The kid who worked for the Mayor? Could there be a connection?"

"Let's find out," Ryan turns back to the screen.

"You know, this guy, Ramon Sirus, was assigned to AD-SEG as a guard, looks like he just bailed himself out of a foreclosure on his house."

Castle leans in, "he paid out over $20,000 at the last minute."

"Got it!" Ryan's intent, "Looks like Jordan Norris' mother's brother is Robert Norris. And Robert Norris? Former federal judge, currently Department of Justice, assistant to the Attorney General. . . Of the United States."

"Shit," Espo may have said it, but they all thought it.

xoxooxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

She's still sitting with Ryan, still intent on the computer screen, when he hooks one elbow around her neck and uses the other arm to produce a cup of coffee. Standing over her, he kisses the top of her head, before asking:

"You okay?"

"Yeah, this could be him, you know? This could be it." She brings her hands up to rub his arm, secure across her chest.

"Are you guys going to get all kissy face? Because I'll leave," Ryan interrupts, smiling.

He lets her go as she glares at Ryan. "No problem Honey-Milk."

oxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

Castle insists, insists, that all four of them investigate together, go out to question the security guard together. It's completely inefficient.

"No Castle, you and I should talk to Jordan Norris."

He hesitates a moment, Rick Castle isn't comfortable.

He holds out his pinky finger to her, "We don't have protection anymore Kate, the idea of you leaving the building terrifies me and we are about to reveal our hand to the enemy. Indulge me . . . please."

For a moment Esposito and Ryan exchange glances, a moment of collective breath holding as Kate stretches out her pinky finger and links with his.

"Fine."

oxoxoxoxoxoxox

They find Ramon Sirus' apartment, guns drawn and vests donned. It's an easy take down, Sirus doesn't resist. Kate looks like she just won the lottery.

It takes less than ten minutes for a fierce Javier Esposito to break their suspect into revealing a useless burner cell number and one very small, very pertinent detail.

He's recorded the voice of the person who hired him to take care of Cole Maddox.

oxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

They haul Ramon Sirus into Greg Langley's office, shocking the Prosecutor into silence.

"He killed Maddox, and he needs protective custody and I'm not risking another prison incident," Kate demands, "Also, this needs to be saved for a voice print later," she slams Sirus' phone on the desktop. "Also, I'm going to need your boys to haul Jordan Norris in here for questioning."

"What the hell Kate? What makes you think you can come in here and make demands? The case is over."

She sets her face and with a piercing stare says, "Because with or without you Greg, I'm going to win. I'm getting my life back. He's still out there, whoever this is, and he's still controlling things. Right now, he thinks you're right, it's over, and he won. I can't let that happen, I thought you couldn't let that happen, either. Come on Greg, I thought you were a fighter, are you with me or not?"

He considers her a moment, "you know who it is, who he is, don't you, Kate?"

"Don't try, Greg, do it."

A respectful smirk come across his face and he picks up the phone.

oxoxoxoxxoxoxox

The Federal Prosecutor's office is abuzz with black-suits. Ryan and Esposito are taking lead on informing them about the investigation so far. Greg wants to be in the room when they question Jordan Norris, who himself is accompanied by his own army of attorneys.

"Mr. Norris," Langley starts, "a murder charge, lots of good evidence. Do you know how screwed you are?"

One of the brood of attorneys, with intense grey-eyes, responds, "This is unnecessary, are you here to ask questions or provoke us to file harassment charges?"

"No, we have questions about a new crime. One I think your client would like to talk to us about. Especially if he wants to avoid a very large, very scary cell mate."

Norris glances around the room.

"Jordan," Kate starts, playing the good guy, "this can go away. This can all go away if you just give us the name of the man behind this. Who was it that had you frame the Mayor? Who is it that paid for Cole Maddox's hit? You'll have protection, a chance to start a new life, just tell us a name."

She can see Norris considering, although his lawyers argue the point and tell him to shut-up.

"Jordan, they have to do what is in your best interest, they have to listen to you if they are your attorneys. Are they looking out for your best interest? Are they really your attorneys? Or are they protecting him?"

They argue round-robin for another half hour before Beckett finally plunges the knife, "You feel worthy, Jordan? A woman is dead. You feel okay with that? No need for punishment? Just let her die and put her family through you _defending_ what you did? You can do that Jordan?"

He swallows visibly.

She sets her face, stares him down, "Or you can get some form of absolution, put the man who did this away Jordan, he spends time in prison, but no one else has to die for his sins," her finger is pointed at him as she stands, her voice raising, "what are you going to do Jordan?" And when he doesn't answer after a beat, "WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO JORDAN?"

"I can't, I can't," he cries.

"Why, Jordan? Because you don't think we know he's your uncle? "

"Kate," she knows Langley is pissed she gave that information away.

"Say it Jordan, tell us the name."

"Don't say anything more, Mr. Norris," Grey-eyes warns.

"Damn it, how long is he going to control you like a puppet? Make a decision Jordan. Tell us the name." Castle can see her shaking, she isn't as stable as everyone else in the room thinks. "TELL US THE NAME JORDAN."

"My uncle, he paid for college, got me the job with the Mayor, . . .he's a good man, he's . .. ."

"He's ordered more people killed than you can imagine. Say his name Jordan, say the name of the man behind this whole thing."

"He's very powerful."

"We'll protect you, start you in a whole new life, away from here."

"Mr. Norris, as your attorney, I strongly advise you . . ."

"Robert Norris. The man who wanted me to frame the Mayor is Robert Norris, my uncle. I don't know about what else he's done, but I know he has the power to do_ things_."

oxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

He sees her sitting alone for the first time in hours, by now it is well into the morning hours and her shoulders have that slump that he's seen a million times. She's forcing a cup of coffee, but he knows she needs more.

"Langley, Kate needs to rest, is there a couch somewhere quiet?"

"We can put a detail on her, you can go to a hotel."

"Kate isn't going to want to leave, just a couch will do," he insists.

"Corner office."

Castle pulls the cup from her hands and tosses it in a nearby trash can as he pulls her up from the chair, "Come with me."

"Castle, not now, I can't leave now."

"I'm not asking you to, just come with me."

He leads her to the room with a gorgeous view of the glitter of early morning New York, "come lay down with me."

She sees he's already procured a pillow and blanket.

He sits down and sets the pillow in his lap, "come on," he pats it. He has this way of making her feel like she's his whole world, like there is no way she is ever going to out-love him. She purses her lips in a cocked smile and moves to put her head in his lap. He spreads the blanket out over her and looks down at her upturned face.

"You did good today, Kate." He strokes her hair so that it fans out on the pillow.

"Just trying to get us back to being us." She whispers.

"I know, and it felt like it for a while, didn't it? You were so strong today, so in control. Let's finish this thing."

"Yeah, let's finish this thing, " she mumbles as she closes her eyes as each stroke of his hand over her scalp relaxes her, "and then I have something important to talk about with you."

And then she's asleep.


	21. Chapter 21

A/N: Okay my lovely, lovely reviewing friends, we are coming to the end of this epic, which I hope you have enjoyed. One last chapter to go after this one, look for it tomorrow.

As it turns out Robert Norris was no stranger to Johanna Beckett. The more Kate digs, the more she finds. He knew her mother personally. They'd met over several cases where Norris was her opposition in the courtroom, Johanna defending a client while Norris prosecuted. It's a matter of court record that they knew each other. A few favors called in, and Kate finds group pictures that show her mother and Norris at a fund raiser for the Justice Initiative.

She's hunched over Ryan's shoulder searching for links to Norris and the three corrupt cops, unaware she's being watched.

Castle has her coffee in his hand when he notices Greg Langley watching the detective. Silently, he moves to observe things from the Prosecutor's angle.

"She's tenacious," Langley says with admiration, sensing the Writer over his shoulder.

"Yeah, she is."

"You're a lucky man."

"Yeah, I am." A brief smile flitters across Castle's face as he continues to watch his tiger, and the prosecutor walks away.

oxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

"Get this, Robert Norris and Bob Armand? Worked together on a case that lasted almost two years. Had to do with prosecuting a mob boss, the same guy who owned _Sons of Palermo." _Esposito says, "Armand was undercover, but he must have been communicating with Norris. It is completely possible they could have met in the alley where your mom was killed."

"That's how he knew," she glances at Castle, "that's how he knew to bribe Montgomery and the others after they killed Armand in that alley, he probably saw it waiting for Armand to meet him."

"Langley wants to see you in the conference room, " one of the black-suits says gravely.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

Greg Langley stands over the table of NYPD detectives and the Writer, regards them seriously and then a slow smile spreads across his face, "Voice analysis came back positive for Robert Norris. He definitely ordered the hit on Cole Maddox."

"Yeah!" Esposito and Ryan feed the birds.

Castle picks up her hand with both of his, kisses her fingers as she watches him.

"We're going to get him, Kate, between Jordan Norris and Ramon Siris, we at least have enough to charge him with Cole Maddox's death. It's a start, a place to begin to let the dominoes fall with your case, your mom's case. We'll keep digging Kate, but it looks good, I think we'll see some justice done."

She turns and smiles at Castle through the tears in her eyes.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

It's still a long road, but they've come so far, so very far in such a short time. As the second day unravels, the black-suits escort them back to the loft and back into protective custody, at least until an arrest is made.

He breathes a sigh of relief for the first time in months as they enter the loft and he takes her coat.

"I think we still have some pasta . . ."

But she's on him before he can finish the sentence, her arms twining around his neck to pull him into her embrace, she kisses him hard and fast, almost before he can respond she pulls away enough to rub her nose on his.

"Love you," she closes her eyes as she whispers the words, "I love you so much." After a moment she kisses him again as she cradles his face. This time he pulls her back.

He searches her face, expects to see sadness, but instead he sees how so many lines, accumulated over the last few years, are relaxing, how her eyes hold nothing but love, nothing but peace. He silently smoothes the hair out of her face, stroking a thumb just under her eye.

"I see the end, Castle and you're here, with me, at the finish line," she whispers, "without you, I never had a chance. Not a chance," she's shaking her head and tracing the line that frames his mouth with her finger. "I never thought it would get this bad, that I'd spend all this time so broken." He starts to speak but she covers his lips with her finger. "Shh, yes, I have been broken, you know it." She rubs her nose over his cheek, "I know you put me on a pedestal, you overlook my flaws, but you've been here to put me back together, every time." She whispers in his ear, "I know you love me, I could never imagine more than you give me right now, I need you so much more than I ever thought possible. I'm so grateful. So grateful. I don't have anything to give you, I don't have anything more to give you except me." She pulls back enough to look in his eyes, "Marry me?"

"What?" He seems genuinely confused as she continues spilling her heart.

"Marry me. Make us legal, I want to be with you every day. I want to wake up with you." He sways her a little, enough to let her know he's stunned, she holds him up, squeezing his shoulders to her, shoring him up the way he shores her up. "I want to sleep with you." She smiles coyly at him, then raises a seductive eyebrow, "yes, that way too. I want us to go back to the way it was before, us, as partners, in every way," she cups his cheek, "every way. I want to get old with you, fighting for other people's justice the same way we have all this time for my mom. I want to marry my hero, my knight in shining armor. Will you do that for me?"

"Kate, I . . .yes, yes, I want that too, all of it." His voice cracks and he wraps himself around her as she buries her head in his chest. He sobs once, as though whatever demons he fears have been expelled in her words. And then she can't hold him up anymore because he's pulling her to the floor, holding her so tightly she can barely breathe. She rocks him a little bit because no matter what she's said, no matter what he understands, it has always been about the two of them and whatever magic the universe has bestowed on them, and neither of them can adequately express it. But they are both so grateful. So amazed.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxxoxoxox

Later, when she's wearing nothing but the bed linens and he brings the Chinese food delivery into their bed, she twists the metal handle from one of the containers into a little circle and presents it to him.

"We cannot tell people that you proposed to me," he says taking it from her outstretched hand and kissing her fingers in the process, "I don't want people to start thinking I'm the girl in this relationship."

"Don't worry, everyone already thinks that."

"Ha," he says humorlessly leaning over the food between them to kiss her, "let me show you off to the world, buy you a ring and a big white dress . . ."

"No. I just want you, I don't care about the rest."

"Vegas?"

Now it's her turn to laugh, "if you want."

"Paris?"

"If you want."

He loves her this plausible, so he takes the risk, "Hot, dirty sex?"

She grins and says, "If you want."

Greg sends over a bottle of champagne with the news that they have a grand jury indictment, although the indictment is sealed for the moment, considering Norris' position. Greg wants to make sure there are no lose ends and that the arrest goes down smoothly.

She feels like she might have just been granted parole.

oxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

It makes the national news in a minor way, but there's Brian Williams talking about how an assistant to the Attorney General was arrested on murder for hire charges. The Attorney General distances himself from his colleague as the reporters charge him. She can't remember the last time she was so riveted by the television.

Alexis and Martha finally come home to celebrate and he takes the time to re-introduce Kate as his fiancé. It's awkward and weird and wonderful all at once. Martha promises to permanently move to the apartment she's really already living in. Alexis congratulates them genuinely. This forced separation has changed them all.

He takes a moment to consider all of them. His women. His life. He thinks maybe this is the happiest he's ever been.


	22. Chapter 22

A/N: I admit, when this saga started, I hated it. It wasn't until somewhere after chapter 10 that I started to enjoy writing it, mostly because you all were so kind in your reviews. This is my first long fic, and I'm glad I tried my hand at it. Now I need to go back to work in the real world again, which means I won't have hours to write every day. I'm a little scared that I won't be able to concentrate having explored my imagination so thoroughly through this tale. Thanks for your support.

Epilogue

It is an unbelievably long wait for a trial, and Robert Norris is granted bail. Langley thinks it could be as long as a year before they can actually address the charges. It's a blow, but it's also a catalyst.

She doesn't want to live in limbo anymore.

"But the hit that he ordered? How do we know it isn't still out there? How do we know you're safe?" Kate's just told him she wants to go back to work.

"The guy is wrapped up in a legal nightmare. His assets have been frozen, anyone looking to get a payout knows they'll be watched. Besides, all that I know is now public knowledge. No one is trying to silence me anymore. It's not worth it."

"You do understand that this means I'm glued to your side."

She rolls her eyes, "how does that change anything?"

"Ha," he says, hooking a finger through the belt loops on her jeans to pull her closer, so that their hips meet, "feel that, Detective Beckett? That's me glued to your side."

She quirks her lips at him, "wrong side, stud," and she turns to bump him with her shoulder.

"Kate, really, I get what you need, but I want you safe."

"Castle, the last time I was outside for any length of time was our trip to the Bahamas. I've been cautious enough, now I want my life back." She smiles at him, "got to take a risk sometime, you know?"

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxxoxoxoxo

Maya is there, along with Alexis, Martha, Lanie, her father, the boys. All their people. Somehow, Greg has called in one last favor, Judge Felty can preside, and so they find themselves in his chambers.

They're really doing this.

The short champagne-colored sheath she's wearing shows off her long legs, tanned by what her soon-to-be-husband is calling their pre-honeymoon in Mexico. The trip had been a compromise after they were both frustrated by his anxiety of her being out in public and her need to feel normal again. On the plane on the way back, after they'd overheard a young couple being congratulated on their new marriage, he'd told her he wasn't waiting another month and that she'd better make some arrangements or he was following through on his Vegas threat.

She'd huffed out a laugh and squeezed his hand, and now here they were. He's wearing a black suit and he's holding a small bouquet of Calla Lillies, her favorite. As he hands them to her, he sees her mother's ring around her neck, reaches out to caress it between them.

"She'd be happy for me," she ducks her head to smile at him, "although she'd really be pissed we aren't doing the whole big ceremony," she's fingering his tie.

"Well, Ms. Beckett, Mr. Castle, are you ready?" Judge Felty stands in front of them. "Yes," they say at the same time.

The judge directs Kate's father to stand next to her, Castle's daughter next to her father. He arranges the rest of their party to overhear his words, his pronouncement of the binding, legal and logical part of a purely heart matter.

When it comes to exchanging the vows over the rings, he goes first, and she can't hold it together, she feels her dad's hand at her back when she sobs mid-way through.

"Kate, my beautiful, stubborn, challenge," there's such softness in his eyes as he regards her, "I'm so amazed you chose me. Fate, the universe, or magic, I don't care, I believe, in this, in us, that there is nothing we can't do together. I promise to adore you, cherish you, argue with you, bring you coffee," there's a giggle from the group, "hold your hand when you're happy, hold you back when you are angry, hold you up when you are grieving. For better or worse, I love you. I love you now and I will love you always."

He pushes the simple diamond band on her finger.

Alexis produces a tissue for her when the tears are coming faster than she can wipe away. Thank God for waterproof mascara.

She composes herself before looking up at him, taking the simple platinum ring from her dad.

"Rick," she has to stop a moment, her face quivering with emotion, she takes a deep breath, "Rick, I don't know how this happened, how we got here. Maybe your crazy theories about soul mates are true and it's just another way I've been wrong about you. You keep giving me evidence, I'll keep believing, you make me believe in you. Your words, your love, they keep changing me, even when I don't want them to," they both laugh, and then her eyes sober, "I don't ever want to imagine a day without you by my side, my partner in everything. I promise you I'll always be your partner, in the good and the bad, I'll believe in you, in us, no matter what. You're mine and I'm yours, always."

With trembling hands she puts his ring on his finger.

"Ladies and Gentlemen," the judge says with authority, "by the powers vested in me by the state of New York, I now pronounce Richard Castle and Katherine Beckett, to be husband and wife."

He leans her over so far to kiss her that she's balanced on one leg, the other sticking straight out. It's okay though, because he's got her.

oxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxxoxo

She doesn't change her name. In fact, very little changes from the life they lead the year before, except that he never says, 'until tomorrow' to her anymore. Lately, he's been making her leave her desk, leave the case for lunch. Usually in the little park nearby.

She still refers to him as her partner, Richard Castle, when she's questioning a suspect. Still does most of the paperwork by herself, still stays too late. Sometimes he goes home, cooks them dinner, gets annoyed that she's still at the precinct, goes back to get her. She relents silently and repentantly every time. She makes it up to him at home, though.

He still does his book tours and parties, still plays poker a few nights a week. But when he can't persuade her to join him, she sends him reminders to come home early. Good reminders. Occasionally dirty reminders. He likes those best of all.

He always introduces her as his muse and his wife, still thinks it's cute to embarrass her with it. She's getting used to it.

And then she picks up the phone one day, it's Greg Langley on the other end, telling her he has important news, doesn't want to talk over the phone, but that they should come to his office right away.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

"Kate, Rick," Greg nods at both of them, opening his office door, "please, sit."

"Belated Congratulations to you, " he says sitting behind the desk.

"Thank you," she says," but don't prolong this, Greg, what's going on?"

"Robert Norris wants a deal."

She feels Castle's hand cover hers on the arm of the chair.

"Forty years, eligible for parole after 20."

She feels him squeeze her hand, both men waiting for her reaction.

"Kate, the man is sixty-three years old, it's basically a life sentence. He wants to serve his time in New York, that's part of the agreement."

"Why are you telling me this?"

"This is a package deal Kate, it means we won't be pursuing your mother's case or your shooting. This is only about Maddox's death, that was the strongest case."

She glances at her husband, concern all over his face. "Will he confess to my mother's murder?"

"For the same amount of prison time? Possibly. I'll bring it up with his attorneys."

She bites her lip a moment and shakes her head, "Do it Greg. Either way, this is probably the best I could hope for, " she give a wan smile, "really, it is the best I could hope for, he's going to die in prison."

They both hear the book close on this chapter of their lives.

oxooxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

He makes slow, gentle love to her that night, not that she's fragile, she's not. She's strong. They give each other strength. Always have.

As for him, no matter how strong she is, he's still her aegis.


End file.
